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Published August 03, 2006 12:00 am - It's rare that I catch a full episode of anything on television in our house, and much of the time this viewing device is stuck on the Disney Channel or Cartoon Network, especially when my 12-year-old son, Dylan, commandeers the remote control (he must be a grown man trapped in a preteen's body). Stephanie Davis Goad: Reality shows need some new ideas The Joplin Globe By Stephanie Davis Goad
Globe columnist It's rare that I catch a full episode of anything on television in our house, and much of the time this viewing device is stuck on the Disney Channel or Cartoon Network, especially when my 12-year-old son, Dylan, commandeers the remote control (he must be a grown man trapped in a preteen's body). Sometimes, however, my boys and I like to veg out in front of the TV together and catch some comedy shows. The other night had to be one of the worst nights in television. It so happened that the entire evening lineup was nothing but reality shows. Years ago, the only reality shows were game shows such as "The Price Is Right" and "Wheel of Fortune" or beauty contests such as the "Miss America" and "Miss Universe" pageants. But they didn't dominate every station all evening! Now it's "Fear Factor," "The Bachelor," "American Idol," "Rock Star Supernova," all "Survivor" knockoffs. And on the Sci-Fi Channel we ran across - get this - "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" That was really WAY OUT THERE! There are only so many times you can watch someone eat raw pig's anatomy, drive a car off a cliff or date 25 people of the opposite gender at the same time. For a while now I have thought that reality television shows were nothing more than a passing fad and soon they would die out only to be replaced by sitcoms and news shows. But, they seem to be dominating the airwaves without letting up. So, my sister and I have decided that if we can't beat 'em, why not cash in and ride this reality wave for as long as it lasts? We've been kicking around some ideas to pitch to all of the major networks before the nation comes out of this reality phase of television viewing. How do you think these shows would fair on the Nielson Ratings? "Who Wants to be Hillary Clinton's Limo Driver?" The winner would chauffeur the former First Lady to all of her senatorial gigs and the prize includes a two-week, all-expenses-paid vacation to Little Rock, Ark. "Who Wants to be Hugh Hefner's House Maid?" The winner would scavenge for dust bunnies (not Playboy bunnies) and dryer lint at the home of the oldest and richest gigolo in the world and, as a bonus, would receive a one-year membership in the Victoria's Secret Underwear of the Month Club. "Who Wants to be Tiger Woods' Golf Caddy for a Year?" 
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