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Published December 19, 2006 12:00 am - If you're looking for a way to make your weekends seem longer, I have two words for you: dance recital.
Mike Pound: Recital dancers may make playoffs
The Joplin Globe
By Mike Pound
Globe columnist
If you're looking for a way to make your weekends seem longer, I have two words for you: dance recital.
Our 8-year-old daughter, Emma, had a dance recital over the weekend. Well, to be correct, Emma had two dance recitals, one Saturday evening and one Sunday afternoon. For those of you who don't have daughters - and therefore likely have never had to sit through a dance recital - I probably should explain that a dance recital is pretty much something that has to be endured. Like a root canal. Or a Rush Limbaugh broadcast.
Ha. That's a dance-recital joke.
I actually enjoy going to Emma's dance recitals. I appreciate how much work she and the other kids in the dance studio put into their routines. I also appreciate how hard Emma's dance teachers work to get the kids ready for the recital. I honestly don't know how Emma's dance teachers manage to take 15 or 20 giggling, talkative 8- and 9-year-old girls and turn them into a well-oiled dancing machine, but they do.
Emma was in three dances. One dance was in the first quarter of the recital, and the other two came in the second quarter. Emma's last dance came right before halftime. For the record, I don't think her dance recital was actually broken down into quarters. And I'm not sure they call the break in the middle of the dance recital "halftime," but that's what I call it. See, I'm a guy, which means when it comes to dance recitals, I'm a moron. So what I try to do is equate dance recitals with sporting events. I think a lot of guys do that.
For example, when I walked into the auditorium Saturday night, I saw Matthew, who is in Emma's third-grade class. Matthew is not a dance-recital sort of kid. Matthew is a football, basketball and baseball sort of kid. But Matthew's little sister, Mallory, was in the dance recital, so he was stuck. When I saw Matthew, I told him that if the dancers did really well, they might make the playoffs. He laughed.
Again, I want to stress that I like watching Emma and her classmates dance. But I have to be honest here: It's taking me longer to enjoy watching kids who I don't know dance. Watching kids who I don't know dance is a lot like watching, say, the Toronto Blue Jays play the Kansas City Royals.
I do like watching the real little kids dance. They're cute, and I'm proud to say that during Emma's dance recital, I was the first person to go "Ahhhhhhhhh" whenever one of the groups of little kids came out to dance.
I like to watch the little kids dance because you never know what's going to happen when they come on stage. Some kids immediately start waving to their parents. Some kids start spinning around, blissfully unaware that the music hasn't started yet. Some kids pick their noses. I probably don't need to mention that I strongly identify with the kids who pick their noses.
Mainly what the little kids do is wander around the stage and then occasionally, for no apparent reason, jump in the air. They do this for a few minutes and then, without any warning whatsoever, they start running around in circles. Then they run off the stage to tremendous applause.
Saturday night, while I watched the little kids dancing, I tried to remember what Emma was like when she was that age. It was sort of hard. I mean, I know I went to Emma's dance recitals when she was that age because I remember how much we paid for the costumes, but I don't REALLY remember what Emma was like. I don't remember how she acted on stage or exactly what she did. I wonder if that's normal. I wonder if someday all those memories will come back to me. I hope so.
During the second half of Emma's dance recital, a group of older girls performed. Some of the girls are in junior high, and some of them are in high school. Several of the dances featured some high-school boys who volunteered to help out with the recital. The dancers were all wonderful, and they all looked so grown up, so graceful, so confident.
While I watched the girls dance, I wondered if their dads could remember their daughters' dance recitals when they were Emma's age. I also wondered if, when Emma is in high school, I will remember Saturday night's dance recital. I hope so.
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