April 28, 2008 04:46 pm
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Last Sunday had to be a tough day for 71-year-old Alice Elsie Hays.
Late in the afternoon, Alice was spotted by Carl Junction police — according to official reports — driving her gold Saturn sedan erratically while heading north on Highway 171. At the Kansas line, Crawford County deputies picked up the pursuit, but saw no signs of erratic behavior. Concerned for her safety, the officers ran her license number and decided to follow her home to make sure she was OK. After Alice passed by the Pittsburg address listed on her license, they opted to intervene. The deputies say they hit their lights, signaling her to pull her over and that’s when events took a strange twist.
The septuagenarian failed to stop, hit the gas, exceeded speeds of 60 miles per hour, evaded two blocking attempts and headed through Frontenac on U.S. Highway 69.
Using “stop sticks” to deflate one of Alice’s tires, the officers finely brought the car to a stop. One officer alleges that when they confronted Hays, she became violent, was restrained and taken into custody.
So much for a peaceful Sunday afternoon drive.
After reading the account in Monday morning’s Globe, online viewers headed to their computers and let loose in the story comments section at joplinglobe.com.
“Pull everyone’s license over the age of 70, and we can save a lot of fuel. After all, they are all on medacations and drive like drunks!”
— Mike
M-e-d-i-c-a-t-i-o-n
Mike’s comment — and misspelling of the word medication — was all it took to get the comments section cookin’. Some viewers joked that Mike should head back to school. Some said he should cut Alice some slack, while others simply said he needed to show some respect for his elders.
“Brilliant comment, Mike. You might want to learn to spell med-i-cation, though.”
— Rowf
“Mike, that is about the dumbest statement I have ever read. Not all people over 70 are on medication that prevents them from driving properly. In fact, I would be willing to bet my husband’s grandmother — who will be 90 in May — can outdrive you, with her bad hip and all. Get a clue and respect your elders.”
— mom
“Mike needs to learn how to spell! Are you even hooked on phonics? Then to put it on top comment is a joke. Show everyone how literate the people of this area is! Even I can spell medication the right way!
— 7th grader
‘Stop picking on Mike’
Mike found no sympathy in the Globe’s story comments section. Not one viewer came to his defense and much fun was made at his expense.
“Mike, someone should slap you silly, for saying such a thing!”
— Deanna E. Francis (67)
“Yes, Mike, yes, but quite a few of those old-timers might be able to spell the word ‘medications’ correctly, unlike yourself. (What Mike Sees When Mike’s Driving: Spead Limit 30; Yeeld; Joplen City Lumits, etc.).”
— Cranky old granny
“Mike, who do you think paid for and built the highways? It wasn’t you young whippersnappers! Go mow your lawn, child.”
— Bud
“Stop picking on Mike. It’s obvious from his spelling and poor sentence structure that he’s young, probably fourth or fifth grade. It’s good that someone that young is paying attention to the news rather than playing video games.”
— Chris
Speculation
While Mike was being skewered for his lack of respect for the elderly and his poor spelling, others speculated about what could have sent Alice into high gear.
“I guess I’ll never know what caused Ms. Hays to lead the police on a ‘high-speed’ chase (Ha! Ha!), but at least the Crawford County police did not throw her on the ground to handcuff her.”
— pamelaparagould
“Could this lady have sugar diabetes? Maybe her sugar was too low which will cause the erratic driving and the wandering around not knowing where you are or what you are doing. It will also cause you to be a bit on the cranky side.”
— Country Girl
“As for the woman, I think the person who suggested low blood sugar is probably correct. Low blood sugar can definitely cause the kind of behavior she exhibited. That’s a better excuse than the people I see daily driving erratically because they’re talking or texting on their cell phones.”
— Chris
Leave ’em laughin’
“I hope the 71-year-old beast from Kansas did not hurt the poor police officer. I am sure he will probably be scarred for life by this abuse. It should not be tolerated. I say hang her from the nearest tree. We cannot put up with 71-year-old women beating up our local heroes.”
— Jim Wiley
“Get used to this headline. Boomers will hit 70 in under seven years.”
— Grumpus (AARP) McGee
“What would have made this story even better is if she would have had (Steve the car dweller from Pittsburg) in the passenger seat.”
— The Infamous Rustybumperjack©
“GO GRANNY GO!”
— Dinkybird
Dave Woods is new media editor for The Joplin Globe.
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