This is partially in response to the letter “Holes in the ozone” (Globe, June 26). My goodness, there are so many things that need to be done to reduce the effects of global warming.
I had never considered the implications of space exploration as a cause of warming. Now I am worried about the tilt in the Earth’s axis. Maybe we could move half of the launch pads at Cape Canaveral to China such that one launch’s push could be a second launch’s shove. We then stay on an even keel, Earth-wise.
Bovine burps are obviously a problem. While more messy, so is bovine flatulence. Perhaps gastric surgery for all cows to channel digestive gases out of a tube in the stomach and intestines leading to an external balloon would work. We would know when to empty the balloons when cows start to fly.
Proponents of Chaos Theory hypothesize that a single mosquito might cause a hurricane. Well, how about mosquito flatulence and burping. There are trillions of those little blood suckers around. Think what eradication of those pests could do for global warming as well as malaria and yellow fever.
We, of course, should quickly move to solar panels on every roof and a windmill in every yard to produce more green energy. Maybe we should develop hermetically sealed toilet seats venting to an external house-mounted balloon to collect human odors. Combining cow and house gases and using them for fuels would also certainly qualify as domestically produced energy.
Until recently I did not fully appreciate the use of alfalfa grass as a warming deterrent. Maybe we should eliminate all beans from our diet. If it’s good for cows, it must be good for us.
Just think of all the things we can do with our diet, burps and whatever else we excrete. And for sure we don’t need all the computer technology, understanding our origins, expanding human knowledge and all the other things space exploration has provided. We indeed must turn inward to mitigate this global disaster encroaching upon us.
Anson Burlingame
Joplin
Opinion
Voices: Holes in our heads
- Opinion
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Our View: Santorum's Achilles' ear
Rick Santorum knocked everyone for a loop this week, not just with his victory in Missouri but with the landslide size of the thing.
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Our View: Are school loans next 'debt bomb'?
The late American middle class struggled for decades to keep pace with an American dream slipping from its grasp.
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Our View: A better way of limit terms
A Missouri House committee on Tuesday endorsed a proposed constitutional amendment that would allow lawmakers to serve 16 years in the state Legislature, either the House or the Senate.
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Your View: Is it our fault?
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Your View: No way to run a school
All throughout the state of Missouri, you’ll hear much discussion about teacher tenure and the indefinite contracts that go along with that. Most — if not nearly all — jobs in the private and public sectors have no such career protection.
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Your View: Prime suspects
If it’s too cool in the house, you can turn up the heat if you think you can afford it.
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Our View: Worldwide concern
There is growing concern worldwide that Israel might launch an attack on Iranian nuclear plants.
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Other Views: FAA deal up in air five years
The Federal Aviation Administration bill was delayed 23 times, but the agency finally has a law giving it $63 billion and full operating authority for the next four years.
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Don Ray, columnist: Obama's pipeline excuse an election-year cop-out
On Jan. 18, President Barack Obama announced he was rejecting the Keystone XL pipeline project — a project that had its beginnings some 40 months ago (September 2008).
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James Whitford, guest columnist: Broken people or broken system?
Are the people broken or is the system broken? If you walk into Watered Gardens, our rescue mission, it may seem the people are broken. But it’s a rescue mission. It just feels that way. And sometimes, it just looks that way.
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