This is partially in response to the letter “Holes in the ozone” (Globe, June 26). My goodness, there are so many things that need to be done to reduce the effects of global warming.
I had never considered the implications of space exploration as a cause of warming. Now I am worried about the tilt in the Earth’s axis. Maybe we could move half of the launch pads at Cape Canaveral to China such that one launch’s push could be a second launch’s shove. We then stay on an even keel, Earth-wise.
Bovine burps are obviously a problem. While more messy, so is bovine flatulence. Perhaps gastric surgery for all cows to channel digestive gases out of a tube in the stomach and intestines leading to an external balloon would work. We would know when to empty the balloons when cows start to fly.
Proponents of Chaos Theory hypothesize that a single mosquito might cause a hurricane. Well, how about mosquito flatulence and burping. There are trillions of those little blood suckers around. Think what eradication of those pests could do for global warming as well as malaria and yellow fever.
We, of course, should quickly move to solar panels on every roof and a windmill in every yard to produce more green energy. Maybe we should develop hermetically sealed toilet seats venting to an external house-mounted balloon to collect human odors. Combining cow and house gases and using them for fuels would also certainly qualify as domestically produced energy.
Until recently I did not fully appreciate the use of alfalfa grass as a warming deterrent. Maybe we should eliminate all beans from our diet. If it’s good for cows, it must be good for us.
Just think of all the things we can do with our diet, burps and whatever else we excrete. And for sure we don’t need all the computer technology, understanding our origins, expanding human knowledge and all the other things space exploration has provided. We indeed must turn inward to mitigate this global disaster encroaching upon us.
Anson Burlingame
Joplin
Opinion
Voices: Holes in our heads
- Opinion
-
-
Our View: Victims should come first
Millions of dollars in donations have poured in from around the world since the May 22, 2011, tornado. Those donations represent money from lemonade stands, charity auctions, corporate gifts and celebrity checks, just to name a few. In fact, one year later donations continue to come to Joplin.
-
Beth Meeker, guest columnist: Same-sex marriage battle a quest for equal rights
I would like to take a moment to reply to guest columnist Anson Burlingame’s, “The Marriage Debate” (Globe, May 13).
-
Sunday Forum: 2012 graduation speakers key on tornado, mall school and president’s visit
Editor’s note: In addition to speeches by President Barack Obama and Gov. Jay Nixon, Joplin High School’s top students addressed graduates, faculty, parents and other guests packed into the Leggett & Platt Athletic Center on the Missouri Southern State University campus. Following are the text of those speeches.
-
Geoff Caldwell, guest columnist: Pack mentality takes truth as a casualty
President Obama’s Joplin graduation speech Monday showed that while there’s the political “right,” there’s also a very active “rabid” political right.
-
Your View: ‘Study’ can mean anything
A few evenings ago, I watched a television program on the science of marriage.
-
Our View: Support for museum
How can you tell the story of Joplin without the accounts of its mining history?
-
Our View: Finding middle ground
The G-8 summit held last week in Camp David ended as expected.
-
Anson Burlingame, guest columnist: Class of 2012 upholds character, hope
My oldest granddaughter was part of the class of 2012 from Joplin High School, and I attended the ceremony on Monday night.
-
Scott Charton, guest columnist: 'Deadline in Disaster' film a story about storytellers
Local newspapers are at their best when they help their communities confront, understand, endure and overcome shared challenges.
-
Our View: Make voting easiser
This year’s ballot will not include a proposed constitutional amendment that photo identification be required at the polls in Missouri. Good.
- More Opinion Headlines
-
Our View: Victims should come first
Raw Video: Gay Protest Blocked in Moscow
Vatican in Chaos After Butler Arrested for Leaks
Jimmy Carter Endorses Egypt's Election Results
Biden Addresses West Point Graduating Class
Dozens of Children Killed in New Syria Attack
Raw Video: Activists Allege Massacre in Syria
NJ Man Charged With Murder in Death of Patz
Support, Fun for Kids of Fallen Soldiers at Camp
Fugitive Penguin Caught, Returned to Aquarium
50 Years Later, Underground Fire Still Burning
Light Show Transforms Sydney Opera House
Raw Video: Unruly Passenger Restrained in Miami
Raw Video: Robber Uses Drive-thru Window
Raw Video: Dragon Arrives at Space Station
Calif.'s Coronado Named Nation's Best Beach
CEO Salaries Become Sore Issue in Labor Disputes
