JOPLIN, Mo. — I usually try to get to a movie on opening weekend to allow for a more timely review. On occasion, I have to make a choice between two films that interest me, and when that happens, the one that is skipped usually slides until it hits DVD.

This past week, however, I had a chance to catch up to a film that I had missed a couple of weeks back, “Crazy, Stupid, Love,” and watching the movie stirred up some questions.      

First, a quick synopsis: Cal (Steve Carell) and Emily (Julianne Moore) are out for a nice date night dinner when Emily tells Cal she wants a divorce. It seems she has been having an affair with someone at work, and now wants out of the marriage.

Cal begins going through a midlife crisis, wherein he meets ladies’ man Jacob (Ryan Gosling), a man who oozes charisma as he seems to have his pick of any woman in the bar. After hearing Cal whine about his life, his adulterous wife and the man she was sleeping with, Jacob decides to take Cal under his wing, teach him the swingin’ lifestyle and help him to begin to get over his wife.     

It’s an interesting premise, to be sure, and one in which a lot of comedy could be derived, had this been it. What I didn’t mention were Cal and Emily’s young children, who quickly become an afterthought to each parent as they begin pursuing their own selfish desires.     

I got into a debate with a friend who also saw this movie about the same time I did. He came away loving it, enjoying the story. I came away disturbed with the callousness with which the issues of adultery, divorce and the affect they have on children was treated. His advice: I should lighten up.

My thoughts: It is irresponsible to take such a weighty and important issue and to gloss over it, to give it the nice, shiny Hollywood treatment, complete with upbeat ending.    

I have been around plenty of divorced folks. Some are the result of an abusive or controlling relationship, some from boredom or stagnancy and many from infidelity. The one constant in all of these cases is the impact that the actions of the adults have on the lives of their children.     

Kids are vulnerable. No matter how you look at it, they are impacted emotionally by the choices that we adults make. Sometimes that short-term hurt is better for long-term growth. No child should be left in an abusive situation or with a self-destructive parent. But too often, the adults chase their own desires at the expense of the security of their children.     

This is why I had an issue with “Crazy, Stupid, Love.”

Emily takes a lover, disrupting her marriage and fracturing the stability of her children’s lives. Cal, instead of becoming a pillar of support for his kids, instead decides to try to get back at his wife by bedding as many women as possible Ñ at one point passing his kids off to the babysitter so that he can meet up with Jacob for an image makeover.

In the middle are the kids, Robbie and Molly.

The paying audience doesn’t want to see children tormented by their parents’ decisions (these are issues best addressed in the independent film world by movies such as “The Squid and the Whale,” where movies aren’t expected to make a lot of money and heavy themes often help the box office). So their plight is glossed over and used for comic effect.     

Movies are a form of escapism, yes, but am I asking too much to want the reality of situations reflected on screen? Sure, it would put a damper on the fun little comedy that those involved want me to see, but it certainly would have been more honest. But I guess that’s not what the viewing public wants, as the film has done reasonably well at the box office.     

In fairness to the film, it does touch on some of the heavier themes eventually. Emily begins to regret the decisions she’s made. Cal realizes that he isn’t finding the validation and self-worth he was seeking in the arms of myriad women. Jacob sees the emptiness of his life and begins to actively change it.

The movie only hints at reconciliation, but you know that’s where it is going. Everything is brought together in the end, wrapped up inÊpretty paper and tied with a nice, big bow. And the children now have to live with the realization that life isn’t safe, that homes can be fractured, and that at any time Mom or Dad might start the process all over again.

Life is already full of uncertainties. It’s too bad the kids have to know this at such a young age.     

I’ll ask these questions: Am I being too sensitive? Should I just lighten up? Should entertainment be an escapist world with no consequences? Or am I right in wanting the truth of situations reflected, if just a little?

E-mail me at benjitunnell@ gmail.com, drop me a line at my Facebook page, agree or disagree. If you side with my friend, I’ll humbly bow my head and tell him that he was right. But if you side with me, I’ll be serving up that tasty dish of crow.