• 

  City wants to buy weather radios for those without

  Phil Jones had been working on a construction project outside his house all day on May 22 and was unaware that a tornado watch had been issued. Once he was inside, though, his weather radio went off, and he learned that a warning had been issued.

Enjoy

Search Results

Close Previous Now showing: of Next

Previous Next Close

Related Photos

• 

Discussion

October 22, 2009

Jeremiah Tucker: Read this column and win a free shotgun!

Anonymous The Joplin Globe Thu Oct 22, 2009, 05:15 PM CDT

New music

Miranda Lambert: “Revolution” (A)

Listening to the 25-year-old country star Miranda Lambert’s new album, I feel more in touch with the Four-State Area. For instance, when I saw a recent commercial advertising a free shotgun with the purchase of every new Suzuki ATV, I thought: “What? A free shotgun? That’s crazy. I don’t understand.”

But then the grizzled old man in the commercial, a real crackerjack salesman, clarified. You see, he was standing in front a new four-wheeler wearing a camouflage jacket, and he cocked his shotgun while looking into the camera and he said, “I’m coming for you,” and I thought, “Oh, OK. This makes sense now. He’s coming … wait, no, I’m still really confused.” And then the commercial was over.

But today, after listening to Lambert’s “Revolution”* all week, well, I still don’t understand.

For instance, if you were unsure about whether you should purchase an all-terrain recreational vehicle, would this commercial convince you to pull the trigger, so to speak? And if it did, is it just because ATVs and shotguns are an irresistible combination, or would a free shotgun work as an incentive for any type of purchase? “Honey, grab the car keys. If we hurry we can get a free shotgun if we buy Season 1 of ‘House’ at Best Buy!” or “Honey, get a babysitter, it’s free-shotgun night at the Sizzler!” or “Honey, take out another credit card, it’s buy two shotguns get one shotgun free during shotgun month at the shotgun store!”

Still, while I may not completely comprehend the allure of a free shotgun, it’s enough for me to know guns, in general, are important to people. They’re certainly important to Miranda Lambert. Perhaps the best song on “Revolution” is her anthem “Time to Get a Gun.”

Do you think ammo would work? I mean, if you’re trying to convince someone to buy something. Like if I were in real estate, do you think people would buy my houses if I threw in a big sack of bullets? I’ve read about how people are hoarding their ammunition because of an outbreak of mass delusion, so if I had some tract housing to unload, I could run a commercial that shows an unremarkable ranch-style house with a family man standing on the front lawn holding a handgun.

He would look at the camera and say, “If you’re going to defend your new home against the coming socialist hoards, then don’t make the same mistake I did.” Then he’d point the gun at the camera and pulls the trigger. Nothing. “Buy one of our many appropriate homes now, and get a trash bag full of ammo — we’re talking a whole mess of bullets. Act now!”

Then he’d point his gun at the camera again but this time it would fire! Fade to black.

Lambert sings: “It’s time to get a gun, that’s what I’ve been thinkin’. I could afford one, if I did just a little less drinking.”

I bet if the government offered a tax credit for first-time ATV buyers like it does for homebuyers, that free-shotgun offer would probably work on Lambert. Then if she couldn’t buy any ammo, she might be tempted to buy a house from me.

I’m just snowballing here.

Of course, she doesn’t like the government too much.

In “Time to Get a Gun,” one of the reasons she’s convinced she needs a gun is because a government man shows up at her house to inform her a new highway bypass is going through her property. I know many people in the Four-State Area, like Lambert, also don’t like eminent domain. But what if the Department of Transportation threw in a free shotgun?

* In all seriousness, “Revolution” is a great album with sharp songwriting, loads of loud guitars and Lambert does a fine job of inhabiting potentially stereotypical characters in a way that feels honest and free of sentimentality.

Address correspondence to Jeremiah Tucker, c/o The Joplin Globe, P.O. Box 7, Joplin, MO 64802.

Text Only

Enjoy

• Love of big band era leads to creation of musical revue

  Cecie Fritz doesn’t just listen to swing music. She feels it. The sound of the big band era resonates with her. It triggers cherished memories and pleasant thoughts. It sounds, just, happy.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Pittsburg troupe presents ‘The Glass Menagerie’

  It’s performed by one of the smallest casts in recent Pittsburg Community Theatre history, but “The Glass Menagerie” will be no less impactful, says Director Linden Little.

  February 3, 2012

• Concept for new studio forged by fire

  Heather Grills was tired of having to drive all the way to Nixa to pick up her favorite clay sculpture supplies. She had even tried to form a communal studio in Joplin with other artists.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Comedy offers killer antics

  “Tomb with a View” delves into the antics of the Tomb family, first explored in “Tiptoe through the Tombstones” a couple of years ago at the theater. This time, we see the family of assassins during their younger days, as they meet for a reading of the will of an elder.

  February 3, 2012

• Joe Hadsall: Cheapskate pwned by inner geek

  My geekitude is constantly at war with another major part of my personality: The cheapskate. As much as I love gadgets and tech, I can’t bring myself to spend major money on them until after a couple of years.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Jeremiah Tucker: SOPA raises real question of what music should be worth

  I agree it was deeply flawed legislation, but it was one of the first steps toward figuring out how copyright will work in the Internet age -- something I think needs to be addressed if we want a future where artists get paid for their recorded output.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Benji Tunnell: ‘The Artist’ a charming tribute to Hollywood’s start

  There was a time when people liked to be challenged by their entertainment. Television used to be more than bland cookie-cutter sitcoms or police procedurals. Books that challenged the mind would be embraced, films that didn’t fit into the traditional structure would become cultural touchstones. Those days, it seems, are behind us.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Dave Woods: Winter rehearsals lead to traditional preview

  It was 18 years ago that a group of Branson show producers and performers came together to put on a show. Not just any show ... a Big Show.

  February 3, 2012 1 Photo

• Benji Tunnell: Soderbergh's latest goes 'Haywire'

  I’ve said in the past that the age of the modern action star is dying, if not completely gone.

  January 27, 2012 1 Photo

• Joe Hadsall: 'Alcatraz' puts us back on the island

  The power of “Lost” fans continues to amaze me.

  January 27, 2012 1 Photo

• More Enjoy Headlines

© 2012 Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. · CNHI Classified Advertising Network · CNHI News Service
Associated Press content © 2012. All rights reserved. AP content may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Our site is powered by Zope. Some parts of our site may require you to download the Flash Player Plugin.
Privacy Policy | AP News Registry privacy policy
Advertiser Index

Events by eviesays.com

The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO 117 E. Fourth Street Joplin, Missouri 64801