By Scott Meeker
smeeker@joplinglobe.com
For some, Super Bowl Sunday is all about the big game.
For others, the game is just something to pass the time on amid all the great commercials.
But no matter what you’re tuning in for, the occasion would not be complete without plenty of snacks on which to gorge — settling pleasurably in your stomach as you’re bathed in the warm glow of the television.
Last year, we were in awe of one humor Web site’s take on the ultimate Super Bowl treat. The masterminds of the humor Web site HolyTaco.com unveiled what they called “The Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built.”
A football stadium built entirely from game-day yummies, their creation contained a whopping 24,375 calories, 1,285 grams of fat and cost more than $86 to make.
We wanted to try our hand at building a snack stadium in honor of the Saints-Colts matchup, refining the HolyTaco recipe a bit to reflect both the teams, the calorie count and our budget. (It helped on the latter two fronts that we jettisoned the 20-ounce summer sausage shaped like a football to use as the blimp.)
Here’s what we used:
2 packages of Twinkies
3 packages of chocolate cupcakes
Cajun seasoning
Ranch salad dressing
1 package little smokies
1 package Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos
1 package Fritos
2 packages rippled potato chips
1 package bold Chex Mix
2 packages Slim Jims
Cheddar cheese
12 ounces guacamole
Cajun seasoning
Jelly beans (black, gold, white and blue)
• Step 1: Coat the bottom of a baking tray with guacamole to create the football field. You could use sour cream, but we went with ranch dressing to create the yard lines.
• Step 2: We used the colored jelly beans to create each team’s respective endzones. Initially, the plan was to use white and black for the base colors, then make a horseshoe with the blue jellybeans and a fleur-de-lis with the gold ones. Have you ever tried to make a fleur-de-lis out of jellybeans? Don’t bother.
• Step 3: Cut up the Slim Jims into eight equal pieces, then use toothpicks to build the goal posts. Use two large hunks of Cheddar cheese to create a base for each post (you’ll need another toothpick to get it mounted).
• Step 4: Cut up the little smokies and place them in formation as the players on the field. We used an extra black jellybean to serve as the football.
• Step 5: Build the stadium around the pan out of the cupcakes and Twinkies. Make sure to leave enough space between the walls and the field so that the “fans” have enough room to pack the place.
• Step 6: It’s almost time for kickoff, so pack the stands full of potato chips, Chex mix and Fritos. For a little New Orleans flavor, we sprinkled the stands here and there with some Cajun seasoning.
• Step 7: Now, stand back and admire your awesome handiwork. Congratulations, you just spent 45 minutes of your life building a football stadium out of junk food, and for more than $20 cheaper (total cost was $61.97 … blame those expensive gourmet jellybeans) than the one we found online.
It may not be the “Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built” (where do you buy football-shaped summer sausage, anyway?), but it sure tastes like it.
