June 25, 2008 05:21 pm
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Whether it’s a loud beep followed by a soft glow coming from the front row of the movie theater, a student slyly trying to type out a message under his desk, or a group of teens fervently tapping at their keypads at the mall food court, it’s obvious that text messaging has become a staple of today’s teen culture.
A Harris Interactive study found that just less than half of teens report that text messaging is their No. 1 form of communication, with the average teen sending and receiving more than 30 messages a day.
Texting is popular because it allows many teens the ability to multi-task. Another reason teens love to text is that it offers privacy. Unlike phone calls, texting allows teens to communicate with friends in a way that prevents others from knowing exactly what they are saying. A teen could simultaneously be watching TV with her family and, through texting, be engaged in the kind of conversation that would horrify her parents.
For this reason, texting has a lot of parents worried.
As a result, they have taken measures to monitor their teens. Some parents secretly snoop around and read their teen’s text messages when their phone is left unattended.
Others subscribe to services such as My Mobile Watchdog. This service sends copies of a teen’s text messages to a parent’s phone, allowing the parent to keep an eye on what teens send and receive, and who they are communicating with.
While this kind of surveillance is valuable in protecting younger teens from predators and other dangers, I would suggest that such drastic measures aren’t warranted for many older teens. Such close scrutiny may do more harm than good.
When teens feel as though they aren’t trusted and their privacy has been invaded, they push parents away. As a result, teens are less open to parents; through trying to know more, parents actually find out less.
Instead, parents should engage their teen through familiarizing themselves with the technology. For example, the next time you need to call your teen to ask a question, try texting instead.
Also, try getting to know the language and acquaint yourself with common acronyms.
Finally, think back to your own teen years and remember how you would feel if your parents were monitoring all of your conversations. Then, talk to your teen about how you trust him, and unless you are given a reason to take it away, you will allow him a certain amount of privacy and freedom.
By doing this, you tell teens that it is better for them to be open and honest with you about what’s going on in their lives than for you to find out another way.
Mat Anderson is the staff writer and research specialist at The Bridge in Joplin. For more information visit futureparadigm.org.
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