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Published October 01, 2008 07:14 pm - We have all met “one of those moms.” The mom who is totally sure that — at 10 months old — her little tot is without a doubt totally gifted. Jane Drummond: Enjoy kids' developmental milestones We have all met “one of those moms.” The mom who is totally sure that — at 10 months old — her little tot is without a doubt totally gifted. Totally perfect, talented and advanced, able to do everything from babbling to toddling better than any of those severely less-talented children who have the privilege of being near her perfect child.
This is particularly fun when the mom and her little future Harvard grad, super hero and valedictorian — predestined for sure to totally wipe out world hunger, cure cancer and build rocket ships for NASA by age 25 — is one of your friends or relatives, and is into comparing every coo and move with your greatly less-fortunate baby. Let’s face it, in any situation in which two moms get together with children of similar ages, it is hard not to compare. But let me happily be the one that breaks it to you — babies and toddlers do things at their own pace. Just because one child walks first or combines words has no bearing to which one designs the next space station. Much of this is based on temperament. Let’s take two babies and walking. You have a baby who has a high temperament level, usually a thin little wiggly mover who is looking to get into everything. She may take off and go quicker than her chubby little counterpart, who is happy to sit, smile and try to figure out how to make the shape go into the hole. I get the question “When should my child do this?” all the time, and parents need to know there is a span of what is age-appropriate. For example, I have seen walkers at 9 months and 15 months. When I see those kids come through kindergarten screening years later, there is never an obvious sign to anyone that one walked before the other. It’s the same with language — some kids are just starting to combine words at 24 months, and others are putting together several words. Again, it all comes in time! My most talkative kindergartner ever didn’t talk at all till he was 2! Grandparents can sometimes contribute to the comparisons, especially with the whole toilet-learning issue! My grandma swore she had my mom trained at 9 months. I am thinking my mom just spent most of her day sitting on a toilet. The brain has to get that signal before they are ready, and that is usually between 2 and 3 years of age. If your niece gets it at 24 months, great for her. If you push your kid before the signs of readiness are there, you could be doing some major backstepping! The fact is, for these little kids deemed gifted in their parents eyes, research shows any child who is worked with can do well prior to age 8. I have worked with just a few truly gifted kiddos, and they have their own set of issues. I hope each mom and dad accepts his or her child and savors each wonderful developmental milestone when it comes. I have never met any child that didn’t have wonderful strengths that would make a parent proud. If you are not already enrolled in Parents as Teachers, a simple, free developmental screening will show you right where your child is for his age. PAT starts these as early as 6 months and if there is a little issue, the earlier we get the child help, the better. I will never forget years ago screening a child I will always remember. He was violent, angry and totally noncompliant, especially when trying to get him to read the eye chart. Through years of experience, my boss and mentor, Lynda Homa, the head of Early Childhood for Carthage, had a hunch. We sent the little boy for an eye exam and two weeks later he came back with his handsome new glasses, happy, compliant and a changed child. I am so glad we could help him at age 3 versus going to kindergarten like that. It would be super cool someday if a girl standing on a platform at NASA thanked her parent educator, Jane Drummond, for giving her a great start and helping to propel her to success in the space program. However, what is more cool is seeing parents enjoying every moment with the kids they are totally proud of for just being wonderful, normal kids. Jane Drummond is a parent educator for the Carthage School District. 
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