I love kids. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t do what I do, because in Parents as Teachers all I do all day, every day, is work with little kids. I think they are funny, cute and a hoot.
Most parents think their kids are adorable too, usually fully backed by grandparents who worship their grandchildren.
However, there are times and places I don’t think kids are that funny and cute, or even a hoot. I don’t usually blame the kids though: I blame the parents.
In case readers agree and just wish someone would say it out loud, here it goes: When I am paying good money in these hard times to dine out, to see a movie or go to a public event, a kid out of control has no place.
I remember when I had my first child, Paige. I was 27 years old and I was used to a full and busy life. I didn’t want to hole up for the first 10 years of her life. I am social and wanted to keep going, so I started taking her with me from the start.
I think this was good for her, because she didn’t remember a time when we didn’t go to restaurants and movies and outings. I was also very conscientious of those glares people would give when we walked into places, even if she was being perfect, the “Oh my gosh, there is a kid, don’t sit them by us” glares. I worked hard with her to behave, and I went prepared to avoid some pet peeves of mine.
I had a busy bag at restaurants for her. This included things such as books to read and Cheerios to snack on when she was little. As she got older, we included a pad of paper, crayons and Polly Pocket Dolls as she got older. We packed any little thing to do that wouldn’t create an extra mess for the waiter or waitress.
If kids go in with the expectation set out before them they must be good, they know what’s required of them ahead of time. Set consequences if rules are not followed and follow through. Do not let your child throw a fit in a restaurant. This is not fair to other diners, so get up and take your child out.
If you have had this problem with your child before, practice eating out with them at home: Practice table manners and sitting at the table at home.
Once you have that down, don’t hit Red Onion or Olive Garden first. Go to McDonald’s, Chuck E. Cheese’s or another kid-friendly restaurants.
Also, your waiter has not had toxic material training, so do not allow your child to throw huge amounts of food on the floor. I would always suggest for children 6 or younger a lidded cup for their drinks (they are going to spill).
For toddlers, cut small portions and put it on their tray. If kids are throwing food on the floor, they are done eating.
Please don’t let your kid run up and down the aisles when they are done, or turn around in their booth seat and harass other diners. I think there are restaurants in town that are much more kid-friendly than others, and depending on your child’s likes, this can help for a more pleasant dining experience too.
My nephews used to love the huge fish tank at Cheddars, and we would bribe them to be good with a promised trip up to see the fish. Lots of kids love to shuck peanuts, so Logan’s or Jim Bob’s can be fun. The Lucky J in Carthage is fabulous, because they have great food and an open viewing area to the horse arena so your child can watch rodeo activities while they dine.
At the movies where tickets are the cost of a kidney on eBay, don’t drag a toddler to a R-rated movie because you want to see it and expect them to be good. If a kid goes to a movie, make sure it is a movie for her, and even then if she loses it and screams, get up and take her out quickly.
For parents who like movies but have young children, I have one word for you: Rentals. Try your local video store, Netflix or get a sitter.
Again, I love kids, and I appreciate seeing people eating out and doing things with their kids in a positive manner. If you see this, go and compliment the parents. I know this happened to me a few times when my kids were little and it made me feel so good.
Taking your kids out and having them behave usually doesn’t come without some great parenting skills and a lot of work. But having the ability to go out and do things with your kids will all pay off and be positive experiences for parents, children and those around you.
Jane Drummond is a parent educator for the Carthage School District. Contact her at janedrummond@mchsi.com.
