People often ask me if it is hard to come up with ideas to write about every week. The answer is basically no, because I can always count on the nephews to do something to inspire me.
My youngest nephew, Gannon Marquardt, did this a few weeks ago. Gannon just turned 3. His mom found him in the bathroom. He had dumped a full bottle of shampoo in the tub, and had the dust buster out sucking up the suds. He was entirely proud of himself.
“Look, Mommy, I am a working man,” he told my sister-in-law. (Note to myself: a new dust buster for her on the Christmas list.)
I know Gannon isn’t the first kid who has created a disaster while trying to help. Kids his age like to help, and this is a skill that should be worked on and channeled properly. You need to get kids in the habit of helping around the house.
Here are some ideas to get you started.
Kids like to feel needed and important within the family unit. Note that many of the toys out there for young children — little play kitchen sets, tool benches, baby dolls and strollers, even little play vacuum cleaners and brooms — show that little kids like to imitate adults! They also like to feel like a contributing part of the family. I have seen toddlers take great pride in throwing away trash for parents, just to hear a “good job” from Mom and Dad. As a parent educator, I hear moms complain that they are running after kids all day and can’t get any house work done. Try letting them help.
Pretending to spray a little Pledge on a rag and showing them how to dust can provide great fun and a sense of pride in kids — they are doing what Mom is doing. Obviously kids need to be watched closely around household cleaners and while doing certain tasks, like really keeping an eye on your favorite flowers if you and your child are weeding a garden together.
I don’t think that it is necessary to “pay” children for every task they do. I think that kids should have responsibilities as a part of the family, and parents need not feel guilty in asking for assistance. Most kids will work for compliments and the social interaction of working alongside their parents. Parents who say they don’t have time to work on school readiness with their kids because they are overwhelmed with housework can kill two birds with one stone. When you go to pick up toys, for example, you can pick up toys by color, like finding and putting away all the red toys first; or by category, putting up all the toys with wheels first. Counting toys and putting them away by category can be fun too, like sorting out the Legos or the race cars and then talking about if there are more blue or green cars.
Laundry time can be fun too, by letting your child match the socks, or fold the wash cloths.
So, what if you are one of the many parents out there like the ones I see who say they have tried to get their young children to help with no success? I say I understand it can be a challenge and those challenges can arise at any age. My oldest, Paige, who was always a neat freak is 15 and there are some days that if the Jasper County Health Department saw her room they might just condemn it. We must remember that we are the parents and we must stick to the rules and expectations. I tell Paige a few days prior that I don’t care when she cleans her room, but if it isn’t done by Friday night she can do it during the high school football game. Granted, it has been done a few minutes prior to kickoff before, but she knows I mean it and will follow through, so it always gets done.
I notice the problem with little kids is often them being overwhelmed with a huge amount of toys. I know how this can happen. Paige was the first child, grandchild and great-grandchild and even I was overwhelmed with the amount of stuff in her room. I also noticed that with stuff everywhere, she would just wade through it and never play with most of it. My suggestion here is to get three or four big crates and rotate toys every few weeks. This way the toys aren’t too much to pick up and kids are able to see them and not be overwhelmed. If kids still won’t help by picking up toys, here is a favorite tip I used on my own kids. Get a laundry basket and give kids a choice: “Am I going to pick up your toys or are you?” If it ended up being me, I would put that basket of toys on top of the refrigerator so the kids could see them, and when they would ask to have one I would say, “Oh, I am sorry, I bet you would like to play with that, but I had to pick them up, and they are in trouble now and in time out. You can EARN them back … one at a time by doing chores for me.”
The key is to be consistent, and you will find you, and your little helper happy and productive!
Jane Drummond is a parent educator for the Carthage School District. Contact her at janedrummond@mchsi.com.
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Jane Drummond: Try letting the kids help around the house
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