Terry and Paula Mitchell might possibly be the strongest folks I know.
In August, the Webb City couple’s 8-year-old son, Gary, died as the result of a tragic accident. The couple were told on Aug. 11 that there was no hope that their son would survive his injuries. The day happened to be the third birthday of their youngest child, Sheldon. The family took time to mark Sheldon’s birthday. At 6:11 a.m. on Aug. 12, Gary passed away.
“It was a horrible experience,” Paula said Thursday morning. “I can’t even begin to describe what it was like to lose my child.”
Even if Paula could describe what it’s like to lose a child, I doubt that most of us would be able to grasp the pain and sorrow that come with such a loss. We could imagine, I guess, but I’m not sure we could ever really know. I guess the only way to imagine what it would be like would be to think of the worst feeling possible and multiply that feeling a million times. Or two billion. Or more.
But when I spoke with Paula and Terry on Thursday morning, the couple didn’t sound as down and depressed as one might expect during the first holiday season after the loss of a child.. They didn’t sound upbeat, mind you, but they didn’t sound depressed. I got the impression, talking to them, that Paula and Terry were at peace.
Sometime this morning, during the telecast of the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, Calif., the announcers will call viewers’ attention to a float called “New Life Rises” The float, sponsored by the national organization Donate Life, will contain floral arrangements honoring the memory of 76 people, including Gary, whose organ donations allowed others to live.
Terry and Paula, working with the folks from the Midwest Transplant Network, agreed to allow Gary’s organs to be donated after his death. It was an emotional decision, but Paula said the folks with the transplant network helped them ease into their choice.
“When they come to talk to you about donating organs, they don’t come in and push you,” Paula said. “And you can back out at any moment. They go out of their way to help you through the process.”
Terry and Paula talked about their options and made their decision based on what they thought Gary would have wanted.
“He was such a giving child,” Paula said. “He would have wanted someone to live in his stead. The hardest thing you can ever do is lose a child, but the fact that his death allowed someone else to be given the gift of life is amazing.”
Paula said she and Terry don’t know the identities of those who benefited from Gary’s donated organs. She said that under transplant guidelines, a year must pass before organ donors and recipients are allowed to communicate with each other. But, she said, they do know a bit about some of the recipients. They know, for example, that a 10-year-old girl received one of Gary’s kidneys and that a mother of four received the other kidney.
Paula said knowing that Gary saved the life of a 10-year-old girl and allowed four children to grow up with their mother helps ease the sting of her loss.
“It does give you some comfort,” she said. “It’s not just having to think, ‘OK, my little guy had to die; he’s gone,’ but to think of that little girl. This (parade tribute) is not promoting his death. It is promoting that 10-year-old girl’s life.”
Gary is not the only area person to be honored today on the Donate Life float. Teresa and Taylor Kemp, of Pittsburg, Kan., also will be part of the floral tribute. Teresa, 41, and her daughter Taylor, 13, died of injuries they suffered in a car crash on July 16.
“The fact that three people from the same area will be remembered in that way is amazing,” Paula said.
I told Paula that I was impressed with her attitude. About her ability to turn her personal tragedy into hope for others. Paula thanked me. Then she asked me for a favor.
“Will you be sure that people know that the whole purpose is to honor Gary’s life and not his death?”
I told Paula that I would do that, but I don’t think I have to. I’m pretty sure that Paula has done that already.
