The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO


August 23, 2013

Joe Hadsall: 'Bioshock Infinite' surprises, even with story spoiled

JOPLIN, Mo. — Mitchell and Duncan can finally talk to me again. I finally beat "Bioshock Infinite," so we can talk about the mind-blowing story and what I believe is the best ending to a video game since "Portal 2."

Let me back up: When I wrote about "Infinite" last week, I mentioned that Mitchell was waiting on me, rather impatiently, to finish it. Since then, Duncan has played through, and beaten the game. So he also knew about the story. (He breezed through it because he set the difficulty on easy; Mitchell played through on medium. I was playing manly-man hard difficulty. So nyah, boys. Nyah.)

The pressure to finish was pretty intense. I finally beat it Tuesday night, and I'm so glad I did.

But before that, I made mistakes. In reading some things about the game, I tripped over a few spoilers. That meant I knew a few of the game's twists, including the big one about Booker DeWitt and Zachary Comstock.

I didn't mean to, and as soon as I realized what I read, I instantly regretted it. I stripped out the safety non-slip duckies in the shower, hoping I'd slip and drive out the knowledge through a controlled concussion.

Mitchell was harsh, too, upon hearing that I'd discovered the game's biggest secret. I think he actually contemplated slapping the back of my head a la "NCIS" agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs (affectionately known in Geek Central as a Gibbs-slap).

Trust me, it was deserved. Spoiling a movie or TV show is one thing, but spoiling a video game? That's an entirely different level of evil. If you look up "spoilersport" on Urban, you'll find that it means, "One who destructively reveals plotlines or other details of a movie, story or book, simply for the sake of revealing a spoiler, or ruining a surprise ending for fans." (You'll also see that it was defined by "MoJoe13," which is me. I invented that word! Ha!)

Spoiling a story for someone, especially a fan, is particularly evil, on the same level as texting during a movie, smoking in a non-smoking section or loudly talking about politics during a family gathering. But spoiling a video game? That's a deeper level of evil douche-baggery.

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A study, to be reported on in Sunday’s Globe, recently reviewed the market conditions across the region. Do you think this is a good time to start a business?

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