Wed, Jul 09 2008
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Published May 09, 2008 05:49 pm - Well, I hope all of you whiners out there are happy. All of you “Oh boo-hoo, I can’t afford to pay $4 a gallon for gas” complainers. Mike Pound: PR firm hired to make oil execs more likable By Mike Pound
Globe columnist mpound@joplinglobe.com Well, I hope all of you whiners out there are happy. All of you “Oh boo-hoo, I can’t afford to pay $4 a gallon for gas” complainers. All of you folks who think it’s more important to do frivolous things like — oh, I don’t know — eat than it is to drive your car. All of you “Well, I guess Grandma’s operation can wait” malcontents. I just hope you’re happy now. Because you know what you did? Do you? You’ve gone and hurt the big-time oil executives’ feelings. That’s what you’ve done. I just have one question: How can you live with yourself? According to a story in the Washington Post (Motto: Hey, we’re the Watergate paper. Remember?), the big-time oil executives feel so bad that they have been forced to go out and hire a PR firm to go remind everyone what nice guys they are. According to the article, the American Petroleum Institute, which is the big-time oil executives’ bestest pal, “has embarked on a multiyear, multimedia, multimillion-dollar campaign, which includes advertising in the nation’s largest newspapers, news conferences in many state capitals and trips for bloggers out to drilling platforms at sea.” When I read that I’m pretty sure I had the same reaction as you did: Really? Trips for bloggers out to drilling platforms at sea? What a good idea. I don’t know much about bloggers. As far as I can tell, bloggers are sort of like folks who keep diaries except they show their diaries to anyone who wants to read them. But I could be wrong. Anyway, if there is one group of folks who probably would enjoy a trip to a drilling platform at sea, I guess it would be bloggers. The other reaction I had when I read the Washington Post article was: Why? Why, oh why would a nice group of folks like big-time oil executives need to hire someone to remind us what swell eggs they are? Well, according to Red Cavaney, who is the head honcho with the Petroleum Institute, the big-time oil executives were beginning to sense that some folks were unhappy with them. “We decided that if we didn’t do something to help people understand the basics of our industry, we’d be on the losing end as far as the eye could see,” is what Red said. Apparently Red doesn’t think the people will understand why an industry making record profits needs to explain itself. Oh, like you haven’t ever made a gazillion dollars. Sure, Exxon Mobil just reported a first-quarter profit of $10.89 billion, but is that any reason to be mad at them? OK, maybe it is, but still ... can’t you ever cut some guys a little slack? Besides, it’s not like the big-time oil executives get to keep all that profit. OK, maybe they do, but what’s wrong with that? First of all, the big-time oil executives had to spend, what should have been profit, on an advertising campaign to remind us how tough it is to be big-time oil executives. Red wouldn’t say exactly how much the big-time oil executives are spending to tell us how rough they have it but, he assured the paper, it was “less than $100 million.” Heck, most big-time oil executives lose $100 million behind their couch cushions, so I don’t see how spending $100 million on an ad campaign is any big deal. Red said the big-time milk executives spent more than that on their “Got Milk” campaign. So if the big-time milk executives can spend that 100 million smackers to put milk mustaches on celebrities, I think big-time oil executives should be able to spend that much to let people know that they aren’t such bad guys. 
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