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Mike Pound: 'Someone' worked hard on bike parade
Wife: You need to put that beer down and come help me.
Me: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.
My wife and Lana came up with the bike parade idea years ago because they thought it would be “fun.” I thought the bike parade would be a “pain in the Limbaugh.” And, initially, I was correct. But over the years, my wife and Lana have sort of got the whole organizing-the-bike-parade deal down pat. In the past few years, the whole organizing-the-bike-parade thing seemed to sort of take care of itself.
Of course, it’s possible that the reason I think the organizing-the-bike-parade thing is taking care of itself is because I — again, technically speaking — am a moron.
When I got home Wednesday evening, someone had already set up and decorated a picnic table and placed it in the parkway. Someone else had already made a big cooler of lemonade. Someone else had baked roughly 2,874 cookies and decorated our 11-year-old daughter Emma’s bike and set up a line of chairs in our front yard.
When I climbed out of my car, I saw my wife staring at me.
“So what have you been doing all day?” I asked.
“*&^^&,” my wife said.
Apparently, my wife is “Someone.”
Fortunately, before my wife could politely explain to me what she had been doing all day, folks started arriving for the parade. I immediately jumped in to greet the early arrivals. The main way I did this was to seek out Laurel’s husband, Malcolm.
Malcolm: Do you still keep the beer on your deck in back?
Me: Yes.
Malcolm (walking toward my back yard): Good.
So while my wife, Lana and a host of other wives scurried around taking care of the last-minute parade details, Malcolm and I sat on my deck and talked about important things. Malcolm had read a book about the Anheuser-Busch family, so we talked about the book for a while. We enjoyed our conversation so much that I almost forgot about the parade, which is why I didn’t have time to give John any advice before he talked to the kids on their bikes.
But that’s OK. I can give him my advice before next year’s parade.
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