Thu, Nov 26 2009
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Mike Pound: Sex, drugs and big-time oil companies: Who knew? No, the Interior Department said it was taking the report “extremely seriously” and that anyone involved in the sex having, drug doing, gift-, ski-trip and golf-outing accepting would be “given a stern talking to.”
The AP quotes some guy named Dirk Kempthorne, who claims to be the interior secretary, as being “outraged by the immoral behavior, illegal activities and appalling misconduct.” In response to further questions from reporters, the interior secretary also confirmed that his name really is Dirk Kempthorne, but that he prefers to be called “The Dirkster.” Of course, our Congress creatures also were shocked by the news that the big-time oil companies were bribing government employees. One Congress creature who declined to give his or her name told the AP that he or she was “shocked to hear that the big-time oil companies have been bribing government employees. We must get the bribes out of our government offices and get them back in our congressional offices where they belong.” The one thing I was sort of glad to see is that the royalty-office workers had sex with folks from the big-time oil companies. In a way, it sort of validates what I’ve been saying for years. We now have proof that the big-time oil companies have been doing the same thing to the government that they’ve been doing to us. For more information on the investigation, you can call the Interior Department. Ask for “The Dirkster.” 
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