Thought No. 1, sub part B: I am screwed.

There is a reason why veteran husbands don’t like to promise things to their wives. They know that if they promise their wives they will do something, they will have to do it. That’s why veteran husbands say “We’ll see” a lot.

Wife: Honey, do you think you could mow the yard tomorrow?

Husband: We’ll see.

Next day:

Wife: I thought you said you were going to mow the yard.

Husband: I said, “We’ll see.”

Wife: And?

Husband: We don’t see.

But I didn’t say “We’ll see” when my wife asked me to move the table to Joplin. I promised to move the table to Joplin.

When my wife came home an hour after she left, it was halftime, and the Chiefs were ahead. I sadly turned off the TV and walked outside to load the table in my brother-in-law’s truck. As my wife and I loaded the table into the truck, my wife said, “Guess what?”

I didn’t want to guess so I said, “What?”

“You don’t have to go to Joplin,” my wife said. “Elisa and Victor are at my office working, and they said they would help unload the table.”

I looked at my wife for a second, and then (and I do sort of feel bad about this) I said, “Gee, are you sure? I mean, I would be glad to go. After all, I did promise.”

My wife said she was sure, and then she said something else. I wish I could tell you what else my wife said, but I can’t because while she was saying whatever it was she was saying, I was already back on our porch watching the game.