|
|
Published November 26, 2008 07:25 pm - This morning, I woke up and had the same Thanksgiving thought that our pilgrim forefathers likely had on the morning of their first Thanksgiving: Really? The Detroit Lions? That’s who we have to watch today?
Mike Pound: The parade, the turkey and the Thanksgiving experience
By Mike Pound
Globe columnist
mpound@joplinglobe.com
This morning, I woke up and had the same Thanksgiving thought that our pilgrim forefathers likely had on the morning of their first Thanksgiving: Really? The Detroit Lions? That’s who we have to watch today?
Look, I’m all for tradition. As far as I’m concerned, tradition is a good thing. And I know that the Detroit Lions playing on Thanksgiving Day is an NFL tradition. But at some point, when a tradition isn’t working, maybe it’s time to call off the dogs or, in this case, the Lions. I don’t mind watching the Dallas Cowboys play every Thanksgiving. I don’t like the Dallas Cowboys, but I have to admit they’ve earned the right to play on Thanksgiving. Although, to be honest, I’m not sure that the Cowboys playing the Seattle Whatchamacallits is going to make for the most riveting football experience. But I also thought the Kansas City Chiefs would beat the Buffalo Whatevers. So it’s possible I don’t know what I’m talking about.
See, that’s the difference between a male person and a female person. A male person wraps the Thanksgiving experience around the NFL, while a female person wraps the holiday experience around the “family.”
I know. I can’t figure out female persons either.
Female person: OK, the turkey is in the oven. The dressing is made. The pies are cooling. The cranberries are chilling. The rolls are ready to go in. The vegetables are waiting to be steamed. The sweet potatoes are done and ready to be thrown out (I don’t like sweet potatoes). I think we’re ready. Can you think of anything else?
Male person: Yeah. Where’s the remote?
Female person: *%$#.
Thanksgiving takes female persons to a special place. A place for families to get together. A place to reconnect. A place to catch up on their individual lives. You know, hell.
Ha. I joke.
The female persons at my house love to start off Thanksgiving Day by watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Although this year, as I understand it, because of the economy the parade will be called the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and Half-Price Sale. I don’t want to say times are tough right now, but the Kermit the Frog parade balloon has a sign on it that reads: Will Work for Flies.
My wife and our 10-year-old daughter, Emma, love the parade. Me? Not so much. It’s not that I have anything against parades. A parade of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, for example, would be a fine parade. But, frankly, after float No. 9,876, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade begins to wear on me. But so does that “Dancing with People Who at One Time Were Almost Stars” show, so maybe it’s me and not the parade.
While my wife and Emma watch the parade in our kitchen, they also work on the roughly 395 side dishes that my wife insists on making for our Thanksgiving dinner. My mother-in-law actually puts our Thanksgiving together. As far as I’m concerned, my mother-in-law puts the most important part of our Thanksgiving meal together: the turkey.
•
Click to discuss this story with other readers on our forums.
|
|
Announcements



: Special Offer For New Subscribers
:


 |
|
TRUCK DRIVERS NEEDED
for local construction project, must have CDL and experience on construction site belly dumps. 417-206-0930....>MORE
See all ads |
|
2003 SATURN L200
4 door, 4 cylinder, 127,000 miles, $4495. 417-434-0925...>MORE
1998 CHEVROLET S10
4 cylinder, 5 speed, high miles, $1750. 417-214-0022....>MORE
JEEP 2000 CHEROKEE SPORT
JEEP, 2000 Cherokee Sport, 6 1/2” lift, 35” foggers, locked front end, welded rear end, off road use, winch not included...>MORE
1993 CHEVROLET LONG BED
runs good, 4.3 V6, new transmission, needs body parts, $400. (417)438-2508...>MORE
1998 CHEVROLET TRACKER
removable hard tops, automatic, air, CD, sharp, $2500. 1317 Schifferdecker, Joplin....>MORE
YAMAHA PSR-GX76
76 key keyboard, new in box, sustain petal and music stand, paid $324, sell for $175. 417-434-0925...>MORE
HONDA, 2007 FIT SPORT,
customized interior package, automatic, air, AM/FM/CD, cruise, great mpg, low miles, excellent condition, $11,800. (417)...>MORE
2002 FORD TAURUS SE
nice car, 3.0 liter V6, $2900. 417-850-0731....>MORE
OLDSMOBILE 2003 SILHOUETTE VAN
OLDSMOBILE, 2003 Silhouette mini van, 107,000 miles, scooter/wheelchair hoist, nice, $7000. (417)776-3219....>MORE
2002 BUICK RENDEZVOUS
4 door, luxury leather trim, loaded, CD, sunroof, beautiful rig, extra nice, $4500. 1317 Schifferdecker...>MORE
See all ads |
|
525 E. 41ST, JOPLIN, MO
to be sold at auction December 5th or before. Lovely all red brick home on large corner. 4 bedroom, 2 bath, double...>MORE
NEWER 3 BR/2 BA
Lots of upgrades and great location. $149,000 but all offers considered. 903 Katlin, Carl Junction. Pictures www.fsboloc...>MORE
Deerfield Estates
in Carl Junction, prime building sites, reduced $10,000 each. 417-825-0052...>MORE
3 ACRES
3 ACRES more/less with pond. Nice park-like setting, just minutes from Range Line. Close to area of newer homes. $19,900...>MORE
See all ads |
|
MALTESE PUPPIES ADORABLE!!
6 weeks old Thanksgiving. 2 boys and 2 girls. Shots, wormed, and vet checked. Healthy, active, and loved! Great Ch...>MORE
MALTESE PUPPIES
2 gorgeous AKC males, 8 weeks on 11/30, all shots/vaccines, $200 each. 417-325-4340 ...>MORE
POODLES
POODLES, standard pups, born 10/10, registered, shots, wormed, family raised. Adorable personalities! 417-673-3892....>MORE
REWARD $50,000 REWARD
Offered for any information leading to conviction of any person or persons known to have been involved in alleged ...>MORE
POODLE, FULL BLOODED
POODLE, full blooded, $75 or best offer. (417)385-8710 after 4:30 p.m....>MORE
NEW IN BOX
New in box, Lucchese cowboy boots, black, size 9D, $200. (620)231-9256...>MORE
ANTIQUES FOR SALE
blue sette $350 2 lamps $75 coffee table $35 2 half side tables $35 2 mauve 60's chairs $225 will e-mail photos. 417-673...>MORE
SCHNAUZERS
one white puppy, one registered silver adult female, one white adult male. (417)437-0300....>MORE
INDIAN HEAD PENNIES
INDIAN HEAD PENNIES, 35% Civil War II nickels, V nickels, Buffalo nickels, lots of other coins. Garage full of antiques ...>MORE
(2) TEACUP CHIHUAHUA
APRI puppies. (417)673-1997....>MORE
See all ads |
|
 |
|