The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

June 10, 2013

Mike Pound: Dance recital plans unfold exactly as predicted

I said “no” before my wife could finish her question.

It was Saturday morning, and the plan called for us to leave at about 2 p.m. for our 15-year-old daughter’s dance recital in Joplin. Emma and the other girls were to open the recital with a routine, and then they would be free until the second recital at 7 p.m.

My plan was to watch Emma dance at 3 p.m. and be home by 3:30 p.m. As plans go, I thought mine was a good one.

My wife, as she is wont to do, had a different plan. By the way, I don’t think we use the word “wont” enough. I wonder why that is.

I wasn’t sure exactly what my wife’s other plan was, but whatever it was, I knew I wouldn’t like it. Call it a hunch.

So, when my wife brought up the time difference between Emma’s 3 p.m. dance recital and her 7 p.m. recital, I was ready.

“You know, we’ll have more than three hours between Emma’s dance recitals,” my wife said. “I was thinking that we could ...”

“No,” I said.

“You haven’t even heard my idea,” my wife said.

“I don’t have to. I know I won’t like it,” I said.

My wife told me that she was disappointed that I didn’t trust her. She asked why I always thought that she had something planned that I wouldn’t like.

“OK, what’s your idea?” I said.

“I thought we could pick up a new table for the living room,” she said.

“That’s why I don’t trust you,” I said.

See, my wife never makes just one stop when running errands. In fact, in the nearly 22 years we have been married, I have never run an errand with my wife. Instead, I have run errands.

There is a significant difference between the two phrases.

It turns out that my wife’s plans on Saturday were no exception. Not only did she want to buy a table for our living room, she also wanted to buy some scrapbook stuff, some clothes stuff, some food stuff and a bunch of other things falling under the “stuff” category.

In an effort to appease me, my wife said that when we finished running her errands (plural), we could stop and get a bite to eat and a beer.

I have beer and food at home, so I don’t see how getting to stop for a bite and a beer after running errands (plural) was much of a great deal — which is what I told my wife.

“Why don’t you want to go with me?” my wife said in that pretend hurt voice of hers.

“Because I don’t want to run errands for three hours on a Saturday afternoon,” I said.

I didn’t even mention the fact that I would be spending my entire Saturday evening at a dance recital and that making me run errands (plural) for three hours would be a major case of piling on.

I like watching Emma dance, so I don’t really mind going to her recitals. The problem is that to watch Emma dance, I have to watch a lot of kids who I don’t know dance. Even that is sort of fun. For a while. It’s when I reach that “for a while” point that dance recitals sort of get hard for me to sit through.

My wife, however, loves the entire dance recital experience. After each one we attend, not only will she talk about Emma’s dances, she will also talk about the dances of a bunch of other kids who I should know but don’t.

So, on Saturday morning, I put my foot down. I told my wife, in no uncertain terms, that I wasn’t going to run errands with her. I told her I was going to spend the three hours between recitals at home relaxing in front of the TV, and I told her that if she didn’t like that, well, that was tough.

We got to the table store about 10 minutes after the first recital. Then we went to the scrapbook store, and then we ... you get the picture.

At least the beer was cold.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

Text Only
Local News
  • 072814_jd anderson.jpg VIDEO: Noel strongman advances on talent show

    The past week has been busier than normal for Noel resident J.D. Anderson. Members of the production crew for NBC’s “America’s Got Talent” told him they have shot more footage of him than of other contestants for the next episode. “They said I have the busiest schedule of anyone this week,” Anderson told the Globe in a phone interview Friday. “There’s so many fun things you can do with B-roll as a strongman.”

    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • AndraBryanStefanoni.jpg Andra Bryan Stefanoni: ‘Annie’ production is a family thing

    There’s a twist to this week’s production of “Annie” at Memorial Auditorium. The show, a beloved classic tale of an orphan girl in search of a family, is full of real-life family members.

    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • 072514 Band Box.jpg Jo Ellis: Carthage icon continues to play in local restaurant

    Chicago Coin’s Band-Box, also known as “Strike Up the Band,” has been a Carthage icon since the mid- to late 1950s. Any customer who frequented Red’s Diner, or Ray’s Cafe, and now the Pancake Hut is familiar with the pulsating rhythms and movements of this mechanical device.

    July 27, 2014 2 Photos

  • SusanRedden.jpg Susan Redden: Gubernatorial hopefuls make area appearances

    Three potential candidates for Missouri governor in 2016 made stops in the Joplin area this past week.

    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • Anti-landfill group seeks grand jury probe

    As more than 200 people filed into Riverton High School on Sunday to attend an anti-landfill group meeting, many stopped to sign a petition asking the Cherokee County District Court to summon a grand jury to investigate how land was acquired by the city of Galena for a proposed landfill.

    July 27, 2014

  • shoalcreekcleanup.jpg Wildcat Glades center puts on service day at Shoal Creek

    About 20 people on Saturday pulled trash out of Shoal Creek as they paddled in canoes and kayaks from Grand Falls to Zan’s Creekside Campground in Joplin.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Hearts & Hammers plans annual home repair event

    Since 2003, volunteers with Hearts & Hammers of Southwest Missouri have made free improvements to more than 170 homes owned by the elderly, physically disabled, and single parent or low-income families.

    July 26, 2014

  • Money clouds farm fight

    For much of the summer, while the campaign surrounding “right to farm” has been focused on its impact on “small, family farmers,” the bulk of the money pouring into the fight has come from big agriculture interests.

    July 26, 2014

  • jameswelbornupdate.jpg Local teen completes half of solo river trip

    James Welborn, a recent Webb City High School graduate, has reached the halfway point of his solo canoe trip down the Mississippi River — just in time to celebrate his 19th birthday with family.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Neosho police warn residents of phone scam

    The Neosho Police Department has received complaints from residents saying someone impersonating a lieutenant from the Newton County Sheriff’s Office warrants division has been calling them.

    July 26, 2014

Must Read


Given that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that electronic devices and communications are protected from searches and seizure without a warrant, do you think Missouri needs Amendment 9 added to its constitution?

A. Yes.
B. No.
     View Results
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter