The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

September 20, 2012

Mike Pound: Bring McRib back early, please

— I like the McRib sandwich.

There, I said it and I’m proud.

Actually, saying that I like McDonald’s McRib is liberating. Up until today I had been operating under a don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy when it came to the McRib. But no more. Now I’m proud to say that I’m crazy for the McRib.

To be honest, I may have mentioned a few years ago that I had a slight hankering for the McRib, but back in those dark, judgmental days I probably danced around my McRib crush.

Back then I probably said something like, “Well, it’s not dinner at the Ritz but it’s not chopped liver, either.”

Of course, if I said that I said it without knowing what exactly “dinner at the Ritz” was like or if it was any good.

For those of you who don’t dine at the occasional fast-food restaurant, the McRib is a sandwich that features some meat topped with onions, pickles and a barbecue-like sauce served on a deli roll. I suspect the McRib, because of its name, is made of pork.

The problem with the McRib is that the McDonald’s people only put it on their menu when they feel like putting it on the menu. Several years ago, I talked to a McDonald’s person with knowledge about the McRib who asked to remain anonymous. Really, he did. The guy told me that while the McRib had proven to be popular, it hadn’t proven to be popular enough to keep it on the menu full time.

I guess I can see that.

Wait a minute, what am I saying?

I can’t see that. I can’t see how the McRib is not on McDonald’s menu all the time and oatmeal is.

In what world does that make sense?

I bring all of this up because on Thursday I saw a story about the McRib on the Time Magazine website. According to Time, somebody from Ad Age got his hands on a memo from something called the McDonald’s Operators National Advertising Fund that said the restaurant chain was set to bring the McRib back in late October but decided to wait until late December instead. According to Time, Ad Age said that McDonald’s made the move to give the company’s “end-of-year sales a boost.”

I guess that makes sense. Having the McRib available during the last couple weeks of the year probably will boost the company’s sales. But, at the same time, I think if having the McRib on the menu in late December will boost sales why not have it on the menu all the time?

Maybe the folks at McDonald’s are worried that people like me would get tired of the McRib if it were on the menu all the time.

Please.

If I’m not tired of the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese after 30 years, I’m not going to get tired of the McRib.

So, please McDonald’s, bring the McRib back early. Make a slightly old guy happy.

Look, I’m married and I have a 14-year-old daughter. I’m pretty much an afterthought in my own home. Throw me a bone.

Well, since McRibs don’t have bones, I guess I should say throw me a pork sandwich covered with barbecue-like sauce on a deli roll. It’s all I’ve got going for me.

And, I’m sorry about that joke about your oatmeal. I have not tried your oatmeal. I’m sure as oatmeal goes yours is pretty good.

But it’s still oatmeal.

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