The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

September 22, 2012

Mike Pound: Not giving a care about a chair

A little more than a week ago, my wife told me that we needed a new chair in our family room.

When I asked my wife why we needed a new chair in our family room when we already had what I considered to be plenty of furniture, my wife told me the chair was for me.

“Why do I need a chair?” I asked.

“So you have a place to read in the family room,” my wife said.

I pointed out to my wife that I like to read in our living room. See, we don’t use our living room much. Our living room is not really a living room. Our living room is more of a “don’t use it, so it won’t get messy and we won’t have to clean it, so when people drop by unexpectedly we can pretend that we do use it and that we are actually very neat people” room.

My wife said that she thought I would be more comfortable reading in a new chair in the family room.

“That way we’ll be together,” my wife said.

“But you will be watching TV while I’m reading,” I said.

“Right,” my wife said.

I tried to explain that I didn’t want to try to read in the same room where someone was watching TV, but my wife was already talking to our 14-year-old daughter about shopping for a new chair. Then my wife announced that she and Emma would go chair shopping on Sunday morning and asked if I wanted to go.

I told my wife that she and Emma should go and have fun, and I would stay home and guard the house.

“And watch football,” my wife said.

“Oh, right, I forgot,” I said.

Five hours later, my wife and Emma returned from their shopping trip without a chair. My wife said that she and Emma found a chair they liked but didn’t buy it because it was too big for the family room.

“That’s too bad,” I said, even though I really didn’t care. Over the years I have found that saying “that’s too bad” or “that’s great” when I really don’t care is all right because it sounds much better than “I really don’t care.”

However, my wife did say she thought the chair would fit in our bedroom. When I pointed out that we already had a chair in our bedroom, my wife said we could move it downstairs and put the new chair in our bedroom.

“But I’m not sure the chair in our bedroom will fit down here either. So we need to carry it downstairs to see if it fits,” my wife said.

I seemed to remember that carrying the chair up to our bedroom the first time was sort of a pain in the Limbaugh, which told me that carrying it back downstairs just to see if it would fit in our family room would be a double pain in the Limbaugh, so I told my wife that I didn’t want to do it.

My wife told me that it didn’t matter what I wanted or didn’t want to do. My wife told me that she would move the chair downstairs with or without me. My wife said that, knowing that I knew she couldn’t move the chair by herself. What both of us knew would happen is that my wife would make a big production about trying to move the chair herself until she drove me crazy enough to get up and help her.

Since I wanted to watch the rest of my football game, I decided to shorten the process. I told my wife I would help move the chair as long as we didn’t have to move it again. My wife agreed. Together we carried the chair from our bedroom down to our family room.

“There,” my wife said. “That looks great.”

“That’s too bad,” I said as I returned to watching my football game.

“What?” my wife asked.

“I mean, that’s great,” I said.

See, it sounds much better than “I really don’t care.”

 

1
Text Only
Local News
  • ArtFest.jpg Giant footballs arrive in Pittsburg; organizers seeking more underwriters, artists for event

    Twenty-four giant fiberglass footballs arrived in Pittsburg on Wednesday to officially kick off SEK Art Fest’s second annual public art event.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • City of Neosho reinstates school officer

    The city of Neosho has restored its contract with the Neosho School District to provide a police officer for security in schools.

    April 16, 2014

  • Mike Pound: Host families build relationships with Joplin Outlaws

    When Missy and Wade Short agreed to serve as a host family for a member of the Joplin Outlaws, they knew they were helping a college baseball player. But what they didn’t know is that they would also find another role model for their son.

    April 16, 2014

  • City of Miami to stage trash, cleanup events

    The city of Miami plans two trash and cleanup events over the next month in an effort to beautify the city and to assist residents with trash removal. This Saturday will see the return of the annual spring “Trash-Off the Streets of Miami.”

    April 16, 2014

  • Commission awards contract for bridge replacement project

    Construction will start in about a month on a new bridge on County Road 48 in the northeast part of Jasper County. The Jasper County Commission this week approved a contract for the project on Deer Creek, south of Baseline Road.

    April 16, 2014

  • More volunteers, donations sought for ‘Victory 4 Haiti’

    The second meals-for-Haiti project, scheduled for April 26, is in need of donations and volunteers, organizers say. “Victory 4 Haiti,” a food-packaging event that will provide meals to the Haitian Christian Mission in the village of Fond-Parisien and elsewhere in Haiti, needs $60,000 to pay for about 280,000 meals.

    April 16, 2014

  • TIF proposal filed for development of area at 44th Street and Range Line

    Joplin’s Tax Increment Financing Commission will hold an informational meeting today on a proposal to establish a TIF district to pay for a wetlands project on property in the area of 44th Street and Range Line, where a developer wants to build a retail, office and hospitality district.

    April 16, 2014

  • 041614 MDOT5_72.jpg JATSO recommends 15 road projects for planning

    The reconstruction of the Highway 171/Interstate 49 interchange at Carthage and the construction of a limited-access highway on the west side of Joplin and Carl Junction are among the top highway projects to be identified by the Joplin Area Transportation Study Organization.
     

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Joplin city attorney takes job in Lee’s Summit

    City Attorney Brian Head will leave his Joplin post next month for a job in Lee’s Summit in suburban Kansas City. Head submitted a letter of resignation Wednesday morning to Mayor Mike Seibert and the City Council. The council is his employer.

    April 16, 2014

  • Neosho restores school resource officer to schools

    Neosho Police Chief David McCracken told the city council on Tuesday that he was restoring the city contract to provide a police officer in schools.

    April 16, 2014

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

The Supreme Court may take up a challenge to an Ohio law that bars false statements about political candidates during a campaign. Do you think false accusations made in the heat of an election should be punished as a crime?

A. Yes.
B. No.
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter