I’ve been told that I have to see a movie sometime this weekend.
The person who told me that I have to see a movie sometime this weekend was my wife, and, as usual, I wasn’t given much of a choice.
“I don’t want to see a movie. I just want to watch football,” I said.
“Tough. You’re going to the movies with us,” my wife said.
We’re spending a few days in Kansas City, and for some reason my wife and our 15-year-old daughter, Emma, think that while were are in Kansas City, we should go to a movie. Sure, we could go to a movie in Joplin, but evidently there is something special about watching movies in Kansas City. I don’t know what that something special is, but I seldom know anything when it comes to my wife and Emma.
I pointed out to my wife that I went to a movie with her and Emma the last time we were in Kansas City.
“Remember, it was the one where everybody tries to kill everybody else,” I said.
“And you complained the whole time,” my wife said.
“But I went,” I said.
For the record, the movie we saw the last time we were in Kansas City was called “Catching Fire.” My wife and Emma really wanted to see it because last year, while in Kansas City, we saw “The Hunger Games,” and my wife and Emma have both read the books the movies are based on.
We see a lot of movies that my wife and Emma want to see. We do that because ... well, because I’m outnumbered. We never go see a movie that I really want to see because ... well, because I really don’t have any movies I want to see. I suppose I could suggest that we go see “Anchorman 2,” but before we did I would have to see “Anchorman 1,” although I’m pretty sure the name of the first “Anchorman” movie probably wasn’t “Anchorman 1.”
The movies my wife and Emma have talked about going to see are “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” and “Saving Mr. Banks.” Years ago, I read the James Thurber short story “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” and I liked it. So, if I had to pick, I would probably rather see that instead of “Saving Mr. Banks.” But I don’t know. Tom Hanks is in “Saving Mr. Banks,” and I think there is a federal law that requires all Americans to see at least one Tom Hanks movie a year.
I think that’s right.
“We can’t see ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ because Emma has already seen it,” my wife said.
“I see,” I said, although as usual I didn’t see. I mean, Emma knew we were going to a movie this weekend in Kansas City, right? So, I wondered why she decided to go to a movie in Joplin right before we left for Kansas City. I didn’t ask my wife about that because I’m pretty sure her answer would have been: “Oh be quiet and quit complaining.”
I don’t get much sympathy from my wife.
The one thing I’m leery of is my wife and Emma pulling a fast one on me and, at the last minute, picking a different movie to see. A movie that I definitely won’t want to see. In particular, I’m leery that my wife and Emma will pull the movie “August: Osage County” out of their hats. Although, my wife and Emma seldom wear hats, and even if they did, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to get a movie in one.
Julia Roberts is in “August: Osage County,” and I really like her. Also, years ago when I worked in the oil fields, I lived in the town where parts of the movie were filmed. But I still don’t want to see “August: Osage County.” The reason I don’t want to see “August: Osage County” is because it’s a movie about a family that yells, screams and fights.
If I wanted to see a family yelling, screaming and fighting, I would just stay home.
Sigh. I wonder if it’s too late to watch “Anchorman 1.”
DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.
I’ve been told that I have to see a movie sometime this weekend.
- Local News
Neosho National Fish Hatchery honors veterans
Gary Wallington started a trend during the third annual Rainbows for Veterans event on Saturday after he reeled in a trout bigger than any his friends had caught.
Duquesne receives storm shelter
The city of Duquesne now has a storm shelter thanks to the city of Joplin and the Community Foundation of Southwest Missouri.
St. Patty’s Revenge slated in Miami next week
Part duathlon, part adventure and all challenge, the St. Patty’s Revenge Urban Adventure Race will take place at 2 p.m. Sunday, March 16, at the Miami Civic Center.
Wally Kennedy: Music store design hits right note
A persistent winter slowed some construction projects, and one of them was the new building that will house Ernie Williamson Music, 925 S. Range Line Road.
MAP: Construction in area tops $1 billion since 2011 tornado
Recovery began the morning after the tornado. Now, approximately 34 months later, Joplin and Duquesne have broken through a barrier that looked a long way off on the evening of May 22, 2011. As it stands now, Joplin has racked up $997.3 million in repairs and new construction across all categories.
Joplin City Council member says she has not moved
A Joplin City Council incumbent says rumors and Facebook posts indicating that she has moved to Webb City are unfounded.
Deadly hog virus arrives in Missouri; experts forecast higher pork prices this summer
Hog farms across Missouri have been struck by porcine epidemic diarrhea, a fast-spreading virus that can kill 80 percent of piglets that contract it. In some cases, entire nurseries containing thousands of piglets have been wiped out overnight.
Mike Pound: Fear of root canal requires sensitivity
The other day, my wife said her tooth hurt. Because I am a caring, considerate and thoughtful veteran husband, I looked up from the basketball game I was watching to express concern. “What?” I said.
Students show off projects at regional History Day contest
Jillian Lopes knew she wanted to research the Holocaust for this year’s History Day competition, but the subject was far too broad. So she whittled it down until she was focused on Irena Sendler, a non-Jewish Polish woman who worked to save children during the Holocaust and whose life later became the subject of a play called “Life in a Jar.”
MSSU panel prepares presidential job advertisement for publication
The advertisement for the president’s job at Missouri Southern State University could be published as early as next week, the university’s search committee was told Friday. The ad will run in the Chronicle of Higher Education, a print and online publication for higher education professionals, for 60 days, said Darren Fullerton, vice president of student affairs and enrollment management, and a member of the committee.
- More Local News Headlines
- Neosho National Fish Hatchery honors veterans