On Friday afternoon, I was at a large, computer store that also sells movies.
The reason I was there is because on Thursday I had taken our 16-year-old daughter Emma’s computer in to have the computer people tell me why it wouldn’t work. The computer people told me there was something wrong with the hard drive. When they said that, I tried to act like I knew what that meant.
“So the soft drive is OK?” I said.
The computer people just looked at me for a second and then told me that I would have to leave Emma’s computer with them.
Later Thursday, I received a phone call from one of the computer people who told me that they forgot to have me sign some stuff that would allow them to work on Emma’s computer. The computer person asked me if I was busy Friday.
“HAHAHAHAHA,” I said.
Then I realized the computer person didn’t know what I did for a living, so I said, “I think I can clear some time on my calendar.”
So, Friday afternoon, after I signed a bunch of computer-related papers at the large, computer store, I wandered over to the movie area. The reason I wanted to look at the movies is because I knew that the Oscars are on tonight and I thought it would be nice to purchase one of the movies nominated for Best Picture so my wife and I could — for once — say that we had seen one of the movies nominated for the award.
The only problem is that I didn’t know which movies had been nominated for best picture.
Earlier this year, I did watch the Golden Globes to get an idea which pictures might be nominated for Oscars, but all I remember about the show is that there was a lot of drinking and people slurring their way through acceptance speeches. Sort of like a Congressional election.
One of the movies I looked at was the one where Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are astronauts and one (or maybe both) spend most of their time floating around in space.
I also looked at buying the Tom Hanks’ movie where he is the captain of a ship that gets taken over by pirates, and the other film I thought about buying was called “Nebraska.”
I read the covers of all three movies and the only one that said it was nominated for Best Picture was “Nebraska.”
But I’m uneasy with watching a movie titled “Nebraska.”
See, when I was a kid we spent a few years living in Junction City, Kan. I thought that Junction City, in the winter, was the coldest place in the world. But when I would say that, adults would look at me and laugh. “You think this is cold,” they would say. “You ought to try living in Nebraska.”
So, I didn’t buy any of the movies. On the way home, I called my wife and told her that I tried to buy one of the movies nominated for Best Picture so we could watch it before the Oscars and I told her about the movies I thought about purchasing.
“I want to see ‘Philomena,’” my wife said.
“What’s it about?” I said.
When my wife told me what “Philomena” was about I asked her if Chevy Chase was in it.
“Of course not,” my wife said.
“Well, if it doesn’t have Chevy Chase in it I don’t want to watch it,” I said.
My wife knew that I was sort of kidding because I think “Fletch,” staring Chevy Chase, is the best movie ever made. But she also knew that I didn’t want to watch “Philomena.”
We decided that we would wait until Saturday and then pick out one of the movies nominated for Best Picture to watch.
And then, tonight, we will gather around the TV and watch the Oscars. Then, sometime around 10 p.m. my wife will fall asleep and when she wakes up an hour later and asks which movie won the Oscar for Best Picture, I will know exactly what to say.
Do you have an idea for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.