The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

October 22, 2012

Mike Pound: Sometimes, a wife needs to be specific

My wife got mad at me Saturday, and, as always, it wasn’t my fault.

See, earlier in the week my wife mentioned that she was going to help drive our 14-year-old daughter, Emma, and some of her friends around to visit spook houses on Saturday.

“I know you want to watch your game, so you don’t have to help,” my wife said to me.

“You’re right,” I said.

At the time, I wondered if the game my wife thought I wanted to watch was the St. Louis Cardinals’ game against the San Francisco Giants. If she did, then there was no reason for me not to drive Emma and her friends because the Cardinals weren’t playing on Saturday night. I was going to mention that fact to my wife, but then I remembered that Kansas State was playing football on Saturday night, so I kept my mouth shut. For just a second, a feeling of guilt came over me about the possible misunderstanding. But then it went away.

Saturday afternoon, while I was watching football, my wife asked me what time the Cardinals’ game started, and without thinking I said, “The Cards don’t play tonight.”

My wife said a bad word.

“What?” I said.

“You lied to me,” my wife said.

“I did not,” I said.

“I said that I knew you wanted to watch the Cardinals’ game,” my wife said.

“You said you knew I wanted to watch ‘your game.’ You didn’t say ‘the Cardinals’ game,’” I said.

“But that’s what I meant,” my wife said.

“Why would I want to watch a game that isn’t even on?” I asked.

My wife said she was through talking to me and walked away.

(Note to any rookie married men out there: When your wife says she is through talking to you, she usually isn’t.)

Later, my wife told me that she couldn’t believe that I tricked her into driving Emma and her friends around on Saturday night. When I pointed out that it was my wife who volunteered to drive so I could stay home and watch the game, my wife told me that wasn’t the point. When I asked my wife what the point was, she told me the point was that I should go with her when she drove Emma and her friends to spook houses. When I told my wife that I didn’t see her point, she said another bad word.

“That’s it, I’m through talking to you,” my wife said and walked off.

Later, my wife came back to tell me that I was off the driving hook. Turns out that another male parent who was going with his wife to help drive the kids around was no longer going, either. I guess my wife figured it would now be easier if just the female parents drove the kids around and, while they waited, they could talk about female parent topics.

By the way, the No. 1 female parent topic is male parents and how selfish we are. And, in case you’re wondering, the No. 1 male parent topic is sports, closely followed by pizza.

At about 10:30 p.m. Saturday, my wife called me. She told me that she wasn’t through driving kids home. She said she had one more of Emma’s friends to drive home, and that the friend lived in the country. She asked me if I wanted to go with her. I told my wife that I did not. I told her that since she said she was going to drive Emma’s friends home, that is what she should do.

Of course, I said that on the inside.

On the outside I said, “I would love to ride with you.”

Hey, I may be stupid, but I’m not crazy.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at mpound@joplinglobe.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

1
Text Only
Local News
  • Ruling modifies gas rates; MGE says bills to remain the about same

    An agreement to settle a Missouri Gas Energy rate change will modify the company’s various rates, but the net bill to consumers will remain largely the same, according to statements released Thursday by the gas company and the state’s utility regulatory agency.

    April 24, 2014

  • Railroad conducts training session; law enforcement officers work on crossing enforcement

    Joplin police and Missouri State Highway Patrol officers trained Thursday and will continue today on railroad crossing safety with Kansas City Southern Railway Co. The annual event, called “Officer on a Train,” puts law enforcement officers in the locomotive cab to give them a real-time view of how motorists and pedestrians approach train crossings through the city. The event began Thursday morning on tracks crossing Fourth Street near Murphy Boulevard.

    April 24, 2014

  • East Newton High student designated semifinalist in Presidential Scholars Program

    An East Newton High School student is among eight Missouri students who have been named semifinalists in the U.S. Presidential Scholars Program for their outstanding academic achievement. George Bennion, a senior from Stark City, said he was “super excited” when he was notified of his selection as a semifinalist.

    April 24, 2014

  • 042314 Rec funding Build a Lion_72.jpg Missouri Southern students to vote on new fee, going smoke-free

    Students at Missouri Southern State University will vote next week on whether they support creating a fee that would fund athletic and recreation projects. During the annual student senate-sponsored spring election, students also will be asked whether they support a completely tobacco-free campus.

    April 24, 2014 2 Photos

  • New Kansas gun law draws support, some reservations

    At John’s Sports Center in Pittsburg on Thursday, firearms manager Adam Gariglietti said he supported Gov. Sam Brownback’s decision to sign a bill that will ensure it is legal across the state to openly carry firearms. But, he offered some words of caution. “It’s great that he signed the bill,” Gariglietti said. “But at the same time, common sense goes a long way.”

    April 24, 2014

  • Baxter Springs chili feed to raise money for family of girl facing surgery

    On a Sunday morning in February, 9-year-old Izzy Morris woke up her mother complaining of a headache. Teresa Morris gave her daughter medicine. But an hour later, the headache had worsened. “She was in a lot of pain and started screaming and yelling uncontrollably,” Morris said.

    April 24, 2014

  • Carthage budget committee hears proposal for water, sewer rate increases

    The proposed budget for the Carthage Water & Electric Plant, including increases in water and wastewater rates, dominated discussions Thursday night as the Carthage Budget Ways and Means Committee continued its review of proposed city budgets for the fiscal year starting July 1.

    April 24, 2014

  • Mike Pound 2010.jpg Mike Pound: Self-driving cars mean not having to teach teens to drive

    I may be wasting my time trying to teach my 16-year-old daughter, Emma, how to drive.
    According to The Washington Post, self-driving cars are on the way. What used to be a dream of bored engineers has now become something that certain car companies are taking seriously.

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • World Tai Chi Day to be celebrated on Saturday

    At least two communities in the area will be celebrating World Tai Chi Day Saturday with outdoor events at area parks.

    April 24, 2014

  • Groundbreaking set for MSSU residence hall complex

    A groundbreaking ceremony will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, April 28, for the new residence hall complex at Missouri Southern State University.

    April 24, 2014

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

What’s your favorite tree?

A. Maple
B. Oak
C. Dogwood
D. Redbud
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter