My wife got mad at me Saturday, and, as always, it wasn’t my fault.
See, earlier in the week my wife mentioned that she was going to help drive our 14-year-old daughter, Emma, and some of her friends around to visit spook houses on Saturday.
“I know you want to watch your game, so you don’t have to help,” my wife said to me.
“You’re right,” I said.
At the time, I wondered if the game my wife thought I wanted to watch was the St. Louis Cardinals’ game against the San Francisco Giants. If she did, then there was no reason for me not to drive Emma and her friends because the Cardinals weren’t playing on Saturday night. I was going to mention that fact to my wife, but then I remembered that Kansas State was playing football on Saturday night, so I kept my mouth shut. For just a second, a feeling of guilt came over me about the possible misunderstanding. But then it went away.
Saturday afternoon, while I was watching football, my wife asked me what time the Cardinals’ game started, and without thinking I said, “The Cards don’t play tonight.”
My wife said a bad word.
“What?” I said.
“You lied to me,” my wife said.
“I did not,” I said.
“I said that I knew you wanted to watch the Cardinals’ game,” my wife said.
“You said you knew I wanted to watch ‘your game.’ You didn’t say ‘the Cardinals’ game,’” I said.
“But that’s what I meant,” my wife said.
“Why would I want to watch a game that isn’t even on?” I asked.
My wife said she was through talking to me and walked away.
(Note to any rookie married men out there: When your wife says she is through talking to you, she usually isn’t.)
Later, my wife told me that she couldn’t believe that I tricked her into driving Emma and her friends around on Saturday night. When I pointed out that it was my wife who volunteered to drive so I could stay home and watch the game, my wife told me that wasn’t the point. When I asked my wife what the point was, she told me the point was that I should go with her when she drove Emma and her friends to spook houses. When I told my wife that I didn’t see her point, she said another bad word.
“That’s it, I’m through talking to you,” my wife said and walked off.
Later, my wife came back to tell me that I was off the driving hook. Turns out that another male parent who was going with his wife to help drive the kids around was no longer going, either. I guess my wife figured it would now be easier if just the female parents drove the kids around and, while they waited, they could talk about female parent topics.
By the way, the No. 1 female parent topic is male parents and how selfish we are. And, in case you’re wondering, the No. 1 male parent topic is sports, closely followed by pizza.
At about 10:30 p.m. Saturday, my wife called me. She told me that she wasn’t through driving kids home. She said she had one more of Emma’s friends to drive home, and that the friend lived in the country. She asked me if I wanted to go with her. I told my wife that I did not. I told her that since she said she was going to drive Emma’s friends home, that is what she should do.
Of course, I said that on the inside.
On the outside I said, “I would love to ride with you.”
Hey, I may be stupid, but I’m not crazy.
DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at mpound@joplinglobe.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.
Local News
Mike Pound: Sometimes, a wife needs to be specific
- Local News
-
-
Content of book, students' access to it at issue in hearing for suspended teacher
A standing-room only crowd is present at the hearing this morning to decide the fate of suspended Joplin Middle School teacher Randy Turner, who has asked for the hearing before the board of education.
-
VIDEO: Restore Joplin designer stepping up to help Moore tornado victims
The designer of the Restore Joplin T-shirts who helped raise nearly a quarter-million dollars for Joplin in the wake of the 2011 tornado has put together a similar design to raise money for residents of Moore, Okla.
-
Southeast Kansas foundation accepts donations for Moore
The Community Foundation of Southeast Kansas is accepting donations to assist the victims of the Moore, Okla., tornado.
-
Carl Junction officials weigh cost of proposed skate park
The public facilities and planning committee of Carl Junction met Tuesday to discuss plans for a proposed skate park near the site of the old public works barn on Water Street. The committee reviewed a design from American Ramp Co. of Joplin to get what committee chairman Tim Smith said was a “rough idea of layout and cost” for the project.
-
Mike Pound: Bernie’s in Avilla a classic tavern
I have a fondness for taverns. When I think of a tavern, I think of a small place with a simple bar, a pool table or two, a jukebox and a kitchen.
-
Federal, state leaders salute Joplin’s recovery
A deadly May twister may have punched a hole in Joplin and Duquesne two years ago, but the resolve to repair it will help other communities stand strong when they face similar disasters. That was the message of state and national diginitaries to a crowd of about 2,500 who observed the second anniversary of Joplin’s devastating May 22, 2011, storm during a ceremony Wednesday in Cunningham Park.
-
Banner from Joplin to be sent to Moore residents
A giant vinyl banner adorned with heartfelt messages from Joplin tornado survivors to the residents of Moore, Okla., became a centerpiece of Wednesday’s observance of the two-year anniversary of the May 22, 2011, tornado.
-
Hired hand won’t face death penalty in Vernon County murder case
The state has agreed not to seek the death penalty against Jeremy L. Maples in the murder of Belinda J. Beisly, but prosecutors have yet to take the option off the table for the victim’s husband, Bob T. Beisly II.
-
Families in Moore, Joplin linked by disasters
Zach Woodcock knew the storms were going to be bad on May 22, 2011, so turning on the Weather Channel was a natural. What he saw filled him with fear. The Moore resident’s family lived in Joplin, Mo.
-
Community gearing up for two-year anniversary ceremony this afternoon
With the playground full of children, it could be any other day at Joplin’s Cunningham Park, but the white tents popping up and neat rows of white chairs lined up nearby indicate something more is happening today.
- More Local News Headlines
-
