The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

October 29, 2012

Mike Pound: Like Lucy’s football, plans to watch game snatched

I did it again. Even though I’m a veteran husband, I — once again — fell for one of my wife’s scams.

Think of my wife as Lucy offering me a chance to kick a football, but when I run to kick the ball she pulls it away right before I kick it. So I go flying through the air and land on my back, like Charlie Brown.

Trust me.

On Saturday, our 14-year-old daughter, Emma, was to be at a debate tournament in Neosho until at least 7 p.m. It was my plan to spend part of the day trying to get rid of some of the roughly 978,654,182 leaves in our yard and then spend the rest of the day watching the Kansas State football game. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the best, I would have rated my plans for the day as a 27.

But then my wife turned into Lucy.

“You know what would be fun?” my wife asked me on Thursday evening.

“Yes,” I said.

“What would be fun is, if you drove me to Kansas City so I could pick up our rugs and pillows at Pottery Barn, and then after we picked them up you could drive me home,” my wife said.

“How would that be fun?” I asked.

My wife didn’t say anything after that, mainly, because she had already left the room.

“Well, I sure told her,” I said to Shilo, our German shepherd. Shilo just yawned.

Friday afternoon, my wife called me at work.

“What did you decide about Saturday?” my wife asked.

“I decided that I didn’t want to go,” I said.

“OK, we’ll leave at about 8:30 in the morning,” my wife said and hung up before I could say anything else.

“I sure told her,” I said to myself. Myself just yawned.

My wife loves to shop at Pottery Barn, although — oddly enough — she has never purchased pottery at the Pottery Barn. I have mixed emotions about Pottery Barn. On one hand, it’s a furniture and furniture accessory store, and, as a male person, I have little interest in furniture or furniture accessories.

On the other hand, there are always plenty of comfortable chairs to nap in while my wife shops. It’s a trade-off.

I like Pottery Barn much better than I like World Market, which is another one of my wife’s favorite Kansas City stores. My wife can spend hours at World Market while I can spend a few minutes looking at the wines they sell and after that I’m done. They have chairs at World Market but they aren’t as comfortable as the chairs at Pottery Barn.

As a reward for agreeing to drive my wife to Kansas City, my wife suggested that we eat lunch at Plaza III, one of my favorite K.C. steakhouses. As restaurants go, Plaza III is a bit pricey for dinner but it’s not too bad for lunch. My wife figured I could be bribed with the prospect of getting on the outside of a bowl of Plaza III steak soup.

My wife was correct.

The way my wife sold the day to me was we would get up to Kansas City at about 10:30 in the morning. We would go to the Pottery Barn so my wife could shop and I could nap in a chair. Then we would go to lunch so I could have steak soup and then we would go home.

“That way you can still watch some of that K-State thing you want to watch,” my wife said.

But as we were walking out the door Saturday morning my wife added something to our itinerary.

“Oh, I forgot, we need to stop by World Market after we go to the Pottery Barn,” my wife said.

I could almost feel the air whoosh by me as my wife yanked the football away and I flew through the air and landed on my back.

Do you have an idea for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at mpound@joplinglobe.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

1
Text Only
Local News
  • Carthage Council reorganizes

    The Carthage City Council has one new member after Paul McCoy was sworn in as Ward 2 councilman on Tuesday.

    April 23, 2014

  • Nevada City Attorney chosen to advise Neosho Ethics Board

    The Neosho City Council on Monday appointed Bill McCaffree, Nevada city attorney, as special counsel to the Neosho Ethics Board. McCaffree will provide the ethics board with legal advice as it investigates an ethics complaint against council members Steve Hart and David Ruth. The vote to hire McCaffree was 3-2, with Hart and Ruth voting against the motion.

    April 22, 2014

  • Jasper County Commission approves contract for storage building expansion

    The Jasper County Commission on Tuesday approved a contract to expand an equipment storage building at the county’s Highway Department Complex on North River Street. The commissioners accepted a bid from Matt Denney Construction Co., Carthage, to build the 3,000-square-foot addition at a cost of $62,375.

    April 22, 2014

  • Carthage School Board advances funding for building projects

    Financing for a series of building projects planned in the Carthage School District was advanced Monday by members of the Carthage School Board. The board approved a resolution authorizing the sale of $18 million in bonds to finance a series of building improvements and approved lease-purchase financing for the early childhood center currently under construction.

    April 22, 2014

  • Nixon: Tax-cut bill holds fatal flaw; area lawmakers say stance totally false

    Another year has brought yet another tax-cut fight between Democratic Gov. Jay Nixon and the Republican-led Missouri General Assembly, and on Tuesday, Nixon announced that he had found what he sees as a fatal flaw.

    April 22, 2014

  • NEO_Big_Event - Bright.jpg NEO students step up for Big Event

    Leann Hartman has a 30-foot ditch filled with leaves that she has to clean out every spring. For the retired schoolteacher, this usually means paying a company to clean it for her, only to have to do it again the following year.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Mike Pound 2010.jpg Mike Pound: Golf tournament supports SIDS research, awareness

    There are probably a lot of reasons the Marshall Dean Keller Memorial Golf Tournament continues to grow year after year, but one of the biggest just might be the cause it supports.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • r042214earthday.jpg Local group launches clean air plan on Earth Day

    It was an Earth Day first for Stephany Aquinaga, a pre-med student and member of the biology club at Missouri Southern State University. “This is the first time I have ever planted a tree,” she said.

    April 22, 2014 2 Photos

  • Neosho teachers express support for Common Core State Standards

    Neosho teachers on Monday voiced their full support for Common Core State Standards. They made their statements to board members during the Neosho Board of Education meeting as an agenda item.

    April 22, 2014

  • Gov. Nixon raises new concern about income tax cut

    Democratic Gov. Jay Nixon raised new concerns Tuesday that a tax cut the Legislature approved could have “cataclysmic” consequences for state revenues — an assertion a Republican legislative leader dismissed as “absurd.”

    April 22, 2014

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon said Tuesday that a tax cut approved by the Legislature could have a “cataclysmic” effect on state revenues to the tune of $4.8 billion. House Majority Leader John Diehl calls that “absurd.” Who do you believe?

A. Nixon
B. Diehl
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter