JOPLIN, Mo. —
Now she doesn’t even ask.
Now, when our 14-year-old daughter Emma gets into my car, she just reaches out, turns off my radio and starts playing her music on her phone. Emma does this as automatically as she puts on her seat belt. I want to say that turning off my music is an affront to my tastes. I want to say that turning off my music, without asking, is a sign of disrespect, that it’s an insult to everything for which I stand
But I don’t. What I do is keep my mouth shut and let Emma play her music. The way I figure it, Emma is in junior high. Being in junior high is tough enough without having to listen to your dad’s music. Sure, when I was a kid, I would have never thought of turning off the radio in my dad’s car without asking him but I should also point out that when I was a kid people thought seat belts were for sissies.
The thing is, Emma doesn’t need to turn off my radio to play her music on her phone. All she has to do is plug her earphones into her phone. But Emma doesn’t do that. Emma plays her music on her phone so I can hear it too. Part of me thinks that Emma does this in order to share her music with me. Part of me things Emma wants me to be a part of her world, to understand the music of her generation.
That part of me, by the way, is the moron part of me. The other part of me thinks that Emma plays her music on her phone so I can hear it in order to drive me crazy.
That’s what teenagers do, you know. They drive their parents crazy. Sometimes they mean to drive their parents crazy and sometimes they don’t. But the fact remains that teenagers drive their parents crazy. I drove my parents crazy and my parents drove their parents crazy. I’m pretty sure that even caveman teenagers drove their parents crazy.
Grok: AGGGGGGGHHHH. GROK JUNIOR, WHAT YOU DO TO WHEEL?
Grok Junior: ME DON’T KNOW.
Grok: YOU GROUNDED. CLEAN CAVE.
Grok Junior: AGGGGHHHHH YOU WORST CAVE DAD EVER.
Because teenagers drive parents crazy I’m pretty sure that I’ll regret ordering tickets for a concert Emma says she wants to attend.
The concert features a new band (new to me) that Emma and all of her friends like. The name of the band is New Direction. Or is it One Direction? I not sure. All I know is there is some sort of direction in the band’s name.
A few weeks ago, Emma mentioned that if New/One Direction every came to Kansas City she would like to see them. So, when I got an email saying that New/One Direction would be at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, I decided to try and get tickets for the concert.
The email said the concert would be July 19. What I didn’t realize until later is that the concert is not on July 19, 2012, but on July 19, 2013. That’s right, New/One Direction is so popular that they sell tickets to their concerts a year in advance.
But, since Emma said she really wants to see New/One Direction I went ahead and purchased them for her. The thing is, even though New/One Direction tickets sell a year in advance they were actually quite cheap.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sometimes I kill myself.
I don’t want to say that the New/One Direction tickets were expensive but they came with a request for deeds.
Here, then, is my problem: I now have a fortune invested in New/One Direction tickets to a concert that will take place on July 19, 2013, which means Emma and her friends have more than a year to decide that they no longer like New/One Direction.
And that will drive me crazy.
JOPLIN, Mo. —
Now she doesn’t even ask.
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