The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

February 11, 2013

Mike Pound: Wife doesn’t ‘get’ sacred T-shirts

Sometimes I think my wife isn’t even trying to understand me.

I don’t really ask for much, and, to be honest, I don’t actually expect her to understand me. But she could at least try.

I try to understand her.

For example, I try to understand why my wife sets two alarm clocks to go off an hour before she needs to get up, and then hits the snooze button every five or 10 minutes.

On Sunday afternoon, I was trying out a new shrimp etouffee recipe when my wife came home from the gym. When she walked into the kitchen, I noticed that she was wearing my Stan Musial shirt.

I know!

“You wore my Stan Musial shirt to work out?” I asked in my I-can’t-believe-you-did-that voice. I don’t use that voice very often because — since I live with my wife and our 15-year-old daughter, Emma — I would probably have to use it all the time. But when I saw my wife in my Stan Musial shirt, I couldn’t help myself.

My wife, hearing the voice, looked at me and very slowly said, “Nooooooo.”

My wife likes to wear oversized shirts when she goes to the gym, and my T-shirts, at least on her, qualify as oversized. I really don’t mind that my wife wears my T-shirts to the gym, but I don’t know what possessed her to think that my Stan Musial T-shirt was workout material.

Seriously, who thinks like that?

It would be like me wearing a pair of my wife’s Prada shoes on a float trip, even though I wouldn’t even know if my wife had a pair of Prada shoes since I don’t know what Prada shoes are.

When I first heard about Prada shoes, I thought they were made out of Russian newspapers, but then someone told me I was thinking of Pravda shoes.

Even if my wife did have Prada shoes, they wouldn’t fit me. And, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t want to wear them on a float trip anyway, so maybe the whole Prada comparison is wrong.

Except it isn’t.

See, it clearly wouldn’t make sense, on several levels, for me to wear a pair of my wife’s Prada shoes, and it doesn’t make sense for my wife to wear my Stan Musial T-shirt to the gym.

I tried to explain to my wife that the Stan Musial T-shirt is special. I tried to explain to my wife that the Stan Musial T-shirt is not a workout T-shirt.

“I only wear it on special occasions,” I said.

“Holy cow. Relax, grouch. It’s just a T-shirt,” my wife said.

For the second time: I know!

That’s right, my wife said my Stan Musial shirt is “just a T-shirt.” That’s like saying the Mona Lisa is just a painting or that the Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground.

I was particularly taken aback by my wife’s lack of understanding given that Musial recently passed away. My wife doesn’t get things like that. One time, many years ago, my wife and I were having lunch in the Billy Goat Tavern in Chicago when the late, great newspaper columnist Mike Royko walked into the bar with his family and sat in a booth not far from us.

I told my wife who Mike Royko was and how much I liked his work.

“Well, go say ‘hi’ to him,” she said.

Yeah, right. So anyway, I didn’t say “hi” to Mike, and unfortunately he passed away a few months later.

OK, maybe that time my wife was right ... but still.

I told my wife that my Stan Musial shirt is special. I told her that it must not be worn to the gym.

“Fine,” my wife said. “Next time, I’ll wear one of your Jimmy Buffett shirts.”

For the third time: I know!

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

Text Only
Local News
  • World Tai Chi Day to be celebrated on Saturday

    At least two communities in the area will be celebrating World Tai Chi Day Saturday with outdoor events at area parks.

    April 24, 2014

  • Groundbreaking set for MSSU residence hall complex

    A groundbreaking ceremony will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, April 28, for the new residence hall complex at Missouri Southern State University.

    April 24, 2014

  • Pittsburg kicks off season of art walks

    Pittsburg ArtWalk will kick off its season Friday in downtown Pittsburg from 5 to 9 p.m. with more than 40 artists and organizations and a few new components.

    April 24, 2014

  • Pitt State Pecha Kucha set for Friday

    The presenters at Pittsburg State University’s spring Pecha Kucha night may struggle with how to pronounce the event, but they all agree on how it works.

    April 24, 2014

  • PSU Student Center groundbreaking set for April 30

    In 2039, Pittsburg State Students will open a time capsule and get a picture of what life was like on campus today. Filling that time capsule will be one of the tasks at a groundbreaking ceremony on Wednesday, April 30, to kick off a major expansion and renovation of the Overman Student Center at PSU.

    April 24, 2014

  • Missouri lawmakers file three resolutions calling for impeaching governor

    While Gov. Jay Nixon was in Nevada, Mo., on Wednesday, a Missouri House panel led by Republicans began hearing arguments on three measures calling for impeaching him. Nixon has downplayed the proceedings as a legislative “publicity stunt.” One resolution, sponsored by Rep. Mike Moon, R-Ash Grove, is critical of Nixon for waiting several months to call special elections to fill three vacated House seats.

    April 23, 2014

  • r042314psumove2.jpg SLIDE SHOW: Moving day for biology and chemistry building at Pittsburg State

    They didn’t all go two-by-two, and the person in charge wasn’t named Noah, but nonetheless, critters of all shapes and sizes were on the move Wednesday. Students, volunteers and staff members helped Delia Lister, director of Nature Reach, relocate everything from a pair of prairie dogs to a vocal macaw named Charlie so that Heckert-Wells Hall — the biology and chemistry building where they are housed on the campus of Pittsburg State University — can undergo a $4.4 million transformation in the coming months.

    April 23, 2014 2 Photos 1 Slideshow

  • Respond With Love flower.jpg Joplin pays it forward with flowers; residents asked to return bulbs ‘fostered’ for other towns

    Suzan Morang’s front yard bloomed brightly last year from a colorful array of bulbs that she will happily pass on to someone else this year. Morang, 1207 Xenia Court, is a participant in America Responds With Love, a national nonprofit organization that distributes bulbs to disaster-stricken cities.

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • New Powell bridge to open today

    Great River Associates engineer Spencer Jones, of Springfield, is planning a final inspection of the new Powell bridge on Cowan Road off Route E, to be followed by a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 3 p.m. today. The initial cost for the bridge was put at $800,000.

    April 23, 2014

  • Former Webb City teacher charged with sexual contact with student

    A former Webb City High School choir teacher was charged Tuesday in Jasper County Circuit Court with having sexual contact with a student. According to a probable-cause statement, Carrie Njoroge, 30, of Oronogo, had consensual sexual intercourse with an 18-year-old male student in her office at Webb City High School during the evening hours of April 15.

    April 23, 2014

Must Read


What’s your favorite tree?

A. Maple
B. Oak
C. Dogwood
D. Redbud
     View Results
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter