I had to work on Sunday.
But before you start to feel sorry for me or nominate me for Globe Employee of The Year, I should tell you that my Sunday work consisted of standing next to a large smoker grill full of spare ribs and talking about barbecue.
Every time my wife uses the word “work” in relation to what I do, she makes little air quotation marks with her hands. As in, “What time to you go to ‘work?’” or “How was ‘work’ today?”
My wife doesn’t think I work for a living, is what I’m saying.
On Sunday, I drove to Joplin to talk smoked ribs with Chris Howard. Chris is president of the Joplin Host Lions Club and a certified Kansas City Barbecue Society judge. The Lions Club is gearing up for its annual Rib Fest on May 26 and on Sunday, Chris gave me some barbecue tips that will be featured in Wednesday’s “On The Table” section of The Joplin Globe.
Some of the ribs that Chris had on his smoker Wednesday were mine. As part of the food page story, I purchased a few slabs of ribs for Chris to smoke so I could sample his cooking. I mean, it wouldn’t be right for me to write a story about smoked ribs if I didn’t sample them, would it?
I may be lazy but I do have ethics.
After spending about an hour and a half with Chris I took my ribs and drove home. While I was talking with Chris my wife sent me a text. I ignored it. Later, as I was walking to my car, my phone rang.
“Where are you?”
“Still working,” I said.
“Sure,” my wife said in a tone that meant she didn’t think I was working.
My wife reminded me that I was supposed to stop at a store and pick up some plants.
“Oh, right. But you were supposed to write down the name of the plants and you didn’t,” I said in my “Got Ya,” voice.
“I texted the name to you,” my wife said in her “No You Didn’t” voice.
I was beat.
When I got to the plant place, I looked for the plants my wife wanted. She said the plants were “water plants” but when I looked where she said they were supposed to be and all I saw was a sign that said “pond plants.”
Part of me wanted to assume “pond plants” were the same as “water plants” but part of me didn’t want to sleep outside. So, I asked the nice lady at the store if they were the same. She said they were. I said I hoped so because my wife would likely kill me if I brought home the wrong plants and, with my luck, my wife would get a jury of married women and would be acquitted.
When I got home with the “pond/water” plants, I asked my wife if I bought the right plants and, as I did, my life flashed before my eyes.
It was actually kind of boring.
When my wife said I did indeed get the right plants I breathed a sigh of relief. As a reward, I reached for a beer and got ready to sit outside.
“What are you doing?” my wife said.
I told my wife I was going to sit outside and drink a beer. My wife told me I was going with her to the large hardware/everything store in our town.
“It will only take 10 minutes,” my wife said.
Two hours later we left the large hardware/everything store. When we got home I told me wife I was tired and that I was going to sit outside and have a beer.
“Oh that’s right,” my wife said. “You had to ‘work.’”
My wife’s a riot.
I had to work on Sunday.
- Local News
Old McDonald County Courthouse to hold grand opening celebration this weekend
As Jean Stratton-Bird made her way into the war memorial room at the Old McDonald County Courthouse on Thursday, she came face to face with the memories of her brother Eldon E. Stratton, who was lost in battle in 1943 during War World II. “He is finally home,” Stratton-Bird said.
Murder warrant issued in fatal domestic shooting
Police believe Doyle Handle shot himself after fatally shooting Dena Davenport during a domestic disturbance Thursday night at their residence in Grove. Officers responded to a 6:55 p.m. report of a shooting at the couple’s home on Wood Street on the southwest side of Grove and found Handle, 52, in the front yard with a gunshot wound to his jaw.
Local lawmakers review session accomplishments
Joplin area lawmakers cited accomplishments and disappointments in the just-concluded Missouri legislative session during a brunch Friday sponsored by the Neosho Chamber of Commerce. Measures benefiting veterans issues were addressed in the session that ended a week ago, along with work force and labor issues, lawmakers said.
Diamond High School band prepares for Liberty Bowl
Classes were winding down last week at Diamond High School, but not for members of the marching band. Instead, they dug out some new music and began their first rehearsals in preparation for their next major appearance — the AutoZone Liberty Bowl, which is scheduled for Dec. 31 in Memphis, Tenn.
Area pools ready for plunge; Schifferdecker opening still to be announced
Though this week’s mild temperatures may not signal swim season, most area pools are ready anyway. And, the mercury should rise a little this weekend to help those anxious to dive in. Highs will be in the low 80s today and Sunday. There is a chance for isolated thunderstorms on Monday, but the thermometer should hit 82 degrees, according to the National Weather Service.
Joplin School Board decision could take up to two weeks; Turner remains on paid leave
It could take up two weeks for the Joplin Board of Education to decide whether Randy Turner’s teaching contract should be terminated, the school district’s attorney, John Nicholas, said Friday.
Joplin insurance agent seeks donations for Moore, Okla.
After losing an office building and her home in the tornado on May 22, 2011, Loretta Bailey is familiar with the destruction that a tornado brings. The 400 households that her insurance agency helped through the aftermath of the tornado also know that loss. \
Families, friends invited to honor veterans with flags this weekend
Small lengths of plastic pipe have been installed behind the headstones of veterans graves in Joplin cemeteries so that every veteran will have a flag on Memorial Day.
Events, activities planned to honor veterans Monday
No ceremonies are planned at Joplin cemeteries this year or at Mount Hope Cemetery in Webb City, but a number of other events are scheduled in cities around the region.
Oklahoma gets far more than its share of disasters
Many states get hit frequently with tornadoes and other natural catastrophes, but Oklahoma is Disaster Central.
- More Local News Headlines
- Old McDonald County Courthouse to hold grand opening celebration this weekend