The New York Times has finally gone too far.
For years, I’ve put up with its despicable liberal media habit of relying on facts instead of just making stuff up the way the respectable news outlets do, but this time they have stooped lower than even I thought they could stoop.
On Friday, The New York Times had the nerve to publish a positive story about Brussels sprouts.
I know!
The story was written by Melissa Clark, but I’m not blaming her. Judging by what I read, Melissa is a fine food writer who seems to know her way around the kitchen. Instead, I blame her bosses. I’m pretty sure they threatened to lock Melissa in a room with Paul Krugman and David Brooks if she didn’t get on board with the Times’ leftist, Brussels sprout agenda.
Not only does Melissa make the case that Brussels sprouts are actually edible, she also makes the ridiculous claim, unsupported by the facts I might add, that they taste good. Clearly, someone at the Times has been sipping too much pinot.
I happen to have a reliable source tell me that Brussels sprouts taste like dirt that has been dragged through cow waste, dipped in 6-month-old stale milk and left to sit in the sun for 36 hours. That reliable source of whom I speak is me.
When I was a child I would be forced to sit at our dining room table long after my brothers and sisters had left because I refused to eat my Brussels sprouts. One year I missed the entire fourth grade.
If I had to choose between eating Brussels sprouts or watching an entire episode of “Dancing with the Stars,” I would opt for “Dancing with the Stars.”
I dislike Brussels sprouts is what I’m saying.
In her story, Melissa writes that while Brussels sprouts for many years have been thought of as a side dish, they now can be turned into a main course. To which I reply: Nuh uh.
Melissa says that she loves to mix Brussels sprouts with pasta and bacon or sausage. She also says that she prepares the dishes in a variety of ways.
“With quartered Brussels sprouts and sliced Brussels sprouts, I’ve added red wine and leeks. I’ve added nuts and cheese; I’ve broiled the sprouts instead of sautéing them. I’ve even deep-fried the sprouts, which was wonderful but much too messy to attempt again on a weeknight.”
Just reading that paragraph makes my skin crawl. The only way that paragraph could be saved is if the words “Brussels” and “sprouts” were deleted. If you did that you would have a much improved paragraph. Granted, it wouldn’t make much sense, but, as we know by reading stories about Black Friday shoppers, sense is vastly overrated.
Melissa, in the story, shares one of her favorite Brussels sprouts recipes. One of the great things about the recipe, she writes, is that it takes very little time to prepare.
“You can crave it at 8 and be eating by 8:30,” she says.
First of all, why someone would crave Brussels sprouts is beyond me, and why he would want to be in a hurry to eat them is doubly baffling. It would be like craving a punch in the nose.
“You can crave it at 8 and be bleeding by 8:30.”
For the recipe, Melissa says she mixes the sprouts with pancetta and tops it with either an Italian or a Spanish cheese. I do have to admit that after reading Melissa’s description of her dish, I did think everything about it sounded pretty good.
Except the Brussels sprouts.
Local News
Mike Pound: No positive spin for Brussels sprouts
- Local News
-
-
Missouri Southern art students to raise funds for Moore, Okla.
Throughout periods of historical change, art has always played an important role, Kahlief Steele contends. “A lot of art came out of the Renaissance period, and the same thing happened after the Great Depression,” said Steele, an art major who will start his junior year this fall at Missouri Southern State University.
-
City manager: CID owes Neosho $158,257
The Big Spring Plaza Community Improvement District owes Neosho $158,257, City Manager Troy Royer told the Neosho City Council on Tuesday night. Royer had filed an open-records request under the Missouri Sunshine Law with officers of the CID he could identify, which he had said wasn’t easy.
-
Ground to be broken for Pittsburg project; 10 homes planned for moderate-income residents
City and Pittsburg Area Chamber of Commerce officials will participate in a groundbreaking ceremony at 11 a.m. today at Lincoln Square. An open house also will be held in the home under construction in the new development.
-
Mike Pound: Office space no place for litter box
I knew my wife was lying when she told me to relax. “It won’t be that bad,” she said. “Relax. I’m sure all writers have had to put up with something like this at least once in their career.”
-
Donations helping JHS music programs rebuild after tornado
Building a repertoire for the Joplin School District’s orchestra program is a challenge for Kylee VanHorn. “Every time I get on the Internet and look at the music sites, there are so many pieces I want to purchase, and I just don’t have the money,” VanHorn said.
-
Defendant chooses not to testify in Miami murder trial
Donna Shirley testified Wednesday that Dustin Boggs had blood all over his hands and clothes when she encountered him in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart store the afternoon Danyel Borden was killed.
-
Former Jasper County official's sentencing slated today in fraud charges
Rita Hunter, former Jasper County public administrator, is to be sentenced today in federal court in Springfield. Hunter, who held office from January 2005 through December 2008, pleaded guilty last November to document fraud, a charge related to illegal obtaining of federal benefits.
-
MSSU board approves settlement agreement with fired president
Bruce Speck, whose contract as president of Missouri Southern State University was terminated last week, will receive the equivalent of a year’s salary as well as housing and health insurance benefits through the end of the year.
-
Mindenmines man charged in first-degree assault case
Barton County Prosecutor Steven Kaderly on Wednesday charged a Mindenmines man with first-degree felony assault of another man, who was in serious condition at a Joplin hospital. The felony charge against Charles Lee Kerby, 32, alleges that on Sunday he assaulted John Bryant, 58, causing serious physical injuries. The assault happened in the 800 block of Tucker Street in Mindenmines.
-
State auditors start review of Jasper County Circuit Court
Workers for the office of Thomas Schweich, Missouri state auditor, have started an audit of Jasper County Circuit Court. The state review was described as “routine” by Spence Jackson, a spokesman for Schweich’s office.
- More Local News Headlines
-
Missouri Southern art students to raise funds for Moore, Okla.
