I swear it wasn’t my fault.
Like most veteran husbands, whenever my wife gets mad at me, I almost always say, “It wasn’t my fault.” It’s like how in prison nobody is ever guilty.
There are those rare occasions — like when I almost ran over my wife — that it might be my fault, but those are few and far between. I’ve mentioned almost running over my wife before. Several years ago, we were getting ready for a trip to Emporia, Kan. It was the weekend after Thanksgiving, and it was cold and snowy. I was in the car getting ready to back out of the driveway. Emma, our now 15-year-old daughter, was sitting in the back seat, and my wife was waiting for me to back out.
Well, I thought that’s what she was doing. One second she was standing in the driveway, and then she wasn’t. When I didn’t see my wife in the driveway, I started backing up. Then, all of a sudden, my wife reappeared, almost as if she had fallen and then painfully struggled to her feet in order to avoid being run over. As it turns out, that is exactly what happened.
Looking back on the incident, I guess I can see my wife’s point. She falls on the ice and hurts her leg, and then, instead of coming to her aid, I almost run her over with our car.
Gee, you make one mistake ...
But on Monday morning, it wasn’t my fault.
I wasn’t the one who made the roads icy. I wasn’t the one who didn’t cancel work at my wife’s place of employment.
So it wasn’t my fault that, while I was sitting in our living room reading the paper and drinking coffee, my wife was busy trying to load her car for work.
“What’s wrong with the picture?” my wife said as she stood in the living room in her heavy coat with her arms full of work stuff.
“Which picture?” I asked.
Then my wife told me what I could do with the picture.
“I don’t think it would fit,” I said.
It used to be, before I started working from home, that I was the one who had to go to work when the weather was bad while my wife and Emma got to stay home.
In fact, my wife used to beg me to stay home when the weather was bad enough to close both Emma’s school and my wife’s work.
“I can’t,” I would say. “I’m a journalist. I have to work when the weather is bad.”
“Oh please. You’re not a journalist, and you don’t really work,” my wife would say.
My wife is not a fan of what I do for a living. Well, actually, she just doesn’t think what I do for a living is work. I guess I can see that, but is that my fault? I think not.
I think one of the reasons my wife was mad at me was because I didn’t beg her to stay home. My wife spent most of Sunday cleaning out a room in our basement. The room my wife was cleaning is the last room in our house to be remodeled. I figured that if my wife stayed home, when I finished “working” she would try to get me to help her finish cleaning the basement room. So I didn’t beg her to stay home.
Besides, my wife got to stay home from work last Friday. It seems to me that asking for back-to-back days off from work is pushing things. I thought about mentioning that to my wife Monday morning as she struggled to load her car. But I figured that if I did, she would want me to help her load her car, and I didn’t want to do that.
It was way too cold to be outside.
DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.
I swear it wasn’t my fault.
- Local News
Second defendant sentenced in Joplin murder; man assessed 15 years in slaying of Jacob Wages
Circuit Judge David Mouton assessed Cody Stephens 15 years in prison Friday for his role in the home-invasion murder of 23-year-old Joplin resident Jacob Wages. Stephens, 22, pleaded guilty Dec. 6 to second-degree murder and first-degree burglary in a plea deal capping the prison time he might receive at no more than 15 years.
Runners to inaugurate trail in Walnut Bottoms
After months of planning, cleaning and clearing, a new trail in Walnut Bottoms will be the site of an inaugural run today. The run is being organized by Carthage resident Brady Beckham and other volunteers to introduce the trial to local athletes and raise money for future development.
10 restaurants participating in fundraiser for Camp Mintahama
Those who go out to eat on Wednesday night will have an opportunity to Dine Out with a Scout. That is the name Girl Scout troop leader Lisa Nelson has given the event designed as a fundraiser for Camp Mintahama, a Girl Scout camp south of Joplin.
PSU, city praised for partnership during kick-off to annual community campaign
Rich Luker, perhaps best known for his creation of the ESPN Sports Poll in 1994 and a nationally known expert on the idea of “community,” praised Pittsburg State University today as a national model for its partnership with the city of Pittsburg.
Students show off projects at regional History Day contest
Jillian Lopes knew she wanted to research the Holocaust for this year’s History Day competition, but the subject was far too broad. So she whittled it down until she was focused on Irena Sendler, a non-Jewish Polish woman who worked to save children during the Holocaust and whose life later became the subject of a play called “Life in a Jar.”
MSSU panel prepares presidential job advertisement for publication
The advertisement for the president’s job at Missouri Southern State University could be published as early as next week, the university’s search committee was told Friday. The ad will run in the Chronicle of Higher Education, a print and online publication for higher education professionals, for 60 days, said Darren Fullerton, vice president of student affairs and enrollment management, and a member of the committee.
Hundreds of Four-State Area students turn out to mark 40th PSU Jazz Festival
What began as an event with 13 high school bands has grown into what organizers believe to be the biggest event of its kind in the Midwest, drawing not just students, but internationally known professional musicians. On Friday, 66 area high school bands participated in the 40th Annual Pittsburg State University Jazz Festival, which celebrates a style of music considered to be the only original American art form.
Kansas high court: School funding unconstitutional
In a highly anticipated ruling Friday, the Kansas Supreme Court said the state’s current public school funding levels are unconstitutional and sent the case back to lower court for more review. In the 110-page decision, the court said Kansas’ poor school districts were harmed when the state made the decision to cut certain payments when tax revenues declined during the Great Recession.
MSSU student to attend posthumous awarding of honor for grandfather
As Missouri Southern State University student Savannah Schwab, unable to sleep, gazed out the window at a moonlit night from her bedroom in Fort Scott, Kan., her thoughts turned to her late grandfather. She had listened to an hour or so of the World War II veteran’s audio recordings that recounted his experiences as a member of the Army’s 3rd Infantry Division, 15th Infantry Regiment.
Last defendant sentenced in Pittsburg slaying
Nathan Whitney expressed remorse Thursday when he became the last of four young Joplin men assessed prison terms for the murder of Ryan Bailey two years ago in Pittsburg. The 29-year-old defendant listened to Bailey’s wife and adoptive mother render emotional victim-impact statements at his sentencing hearing in Crawford County District Court before standing up and responding to their loss.
- More Local News Headlines
- Second defendant sentenced in Joplin murder; man assessed 15 years in slaying of Jacob Wages