By Mike Pound
I worked very hard on Sunday afternoon.
At least I’m going to say I worked very hard. My wife would likely tell you that I mostly sat on the couch, drank beer and watched football. My wife may have a point, but you try watching the Kansas City Chiefs and not calling it work.
The work I did Sunday afternoon was kitchen-related. On Friday, while I was supposed to be working, I came across a recipe online for a perfect rib roast. The only other time I tried to cook a rib roast was almost 20 years ago, and I burned the heck out of it. Well, I didn’t so much burn it as I overcooked it to the point where the roast was dry. If you know anything about rib roasts, you probably know they’re not supposed to be served that way. In fact, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any sort of beef that is supposed to be served dry.
You may also know that rib roasts are slightly more expensive than, say, hamburger. I remember 20 years ago that the rib roast I dried cost upward of a whole bunch of money. That means I didn’t just burn a rib roast 20 years ago, I burned a whole bunch of money. As a result of that experience, I have shied away from them.
But last week I decided it was time to climb back on the rib roast, as it were. On Wednesday, I saw that one of our local grocery stores was featuring rib roasts, and on Friday I found the recipe. So on the way home from work Friday, I bought one. This time, the rib roast cost upward of whole bunch more money.
The recipe called for me to rub a mixture of salt, black pepper and garlic on the roast and then cook it at 375 degrees for one hour. Then the recipe called for the oven to be turned off and the roast left inside the oven for three hours. When the three hours were up, I was supposed to turn the oven back on to 375 degrees and cook the roast for 30 to 40 minutes.
I wasn’t sure the recipe would work, but I liked the part about turning the oven off for three hours and leaving the roast alone. That way, I figured, whenever my wife would walk into the family room and see me watching football, I could tell her that I was cooking, which is exactly what I did.
“I’m still wrapping Christmas presents, and I’m exhausted,” my wife said as she walked into the kitchen.
When she spotted me on the couch in our family room, she asked me what I was doing. Only it was in a tone that said, “Why are you just sitting on your Limbaugh while I’m busy wrapping Christmas presents?”
“I’m cooking. I’ve got a rib roast in the oven,” I said.
My wife gave me a look that suggested she had a location in mind for me to put the rib roast, but then I reminded my wife how much a rib roast costs, so she walked away.
And it isn’t as if watching the Kansas City Chiefs was relaxing. This year, the Kansas City Chiefs and the Oakland Raiders are two very bad football teams. And since the Chiefs and the Raiders were playing each other Sunday, the game figured to ... well ... it figured to suck.
And it did. The final score was 15-0 in favor of the Raiders. I don’t know if you know much about football, but when someone hears that a game ended in a 15-0 score, the first reaction is always, “Whew, glad I didn’t watch that game.”
But I did watch that game, and it was painful. And why did I watch that lousy football game?
Because I was cooking, that’s why.
Oh, and the rib roast was perfect.
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