The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

November 9, 2012

Mike Pound: Black Friday shifts to Thursday — blame liberals

So this year Black Friday starts on Thursday.

Well, actually, I think Black Friday started on Thursday last year, too, but this year Black Friday REALLY begins on Thursday.

Specifically, Black Friday this year starts at 8 p.m. Thursday. That’s when Wal-Mart has decided to start its annual day-after-Thanksgiving sales, which means it’s possible Black Friday will begin before the Dallas Cowboys are through losing their Thanksgiving Day football game.

By the way, this will be the second year in a row the annual Thanksgiving Day NFL games shouldn’t suck. For some reason, many years ago, the morons who run the NFL decided that the Detroit Lions should be the host for a Thanksgiving Day football game despite the fact that the Lions had a history of being — well — almost Kansas City Chiefs-like. Then, a few years later, the morons who run the NFL decided that the Dallas Cowboys also should play a Thanksgiving Day football game, despite the fact that most people can’t stand Jerry Jones, the Cowboys owner.

At least when the morons who run the NFL tabbed the Cowboys to play host to a Thanksgiving Day football game, the Cowboys were a pretty good team. But then, a few years ago, both the Cowboys and the Lions were in K.C.-like modes, so the Thanksgiving football games were painful to watch.

But this year the Detroit Lions are playing pretty well, and the Dallas Cowboys, while not great, aren’t Chiefs-like either. So the Thanksgiving Day games should be pretty entertaining, assuming, of course, that you get to watch them and aren’t forced to drive people to Wal-Mart so they can go shopping.

I know for some people the news that Wal-Mart is starting Black Friday at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving is not such a big deal. I know some people will say that since Wal-Mart began Black Friday at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving last year, making it two hours earlier isn’t much of a change.

To those people I have one thing to say: “Oh yeah?”

Don’t you see that if Wal-Mart keeps this up it won’t be long before Black Friday begins on Wednesday. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “When will people in Florida learn how to hold an election?” But you’re also thinking, “But Mike, Wal-Mart would never move Black Friday to Wednesday.”

That might be a good point, but we’re not just talking about Wal-Mart here.

If you’re a Wal-Mart competitor and you see that Wal-Mart is starting Black Friday at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving, what do you think you’re going to do? Besides crawl up into a ball and sob like a baby, I mean.

What you’re going to do is try to one-up Wal-Mart and start your Black Friday sale at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving, which will force Wal-Mart to move its Black Friday sales to 4 p.m., which will force you to ... well I think you get the picture.

Want to know who’s to blame for all of this Black Friday nonsense? Liberals.

Before liberals started turning half the country into a bunch of wine-swilling, European socialist elitist snobs, Thanksgiving used to be on the last Thursday in November. But then that East Coast liberal Franklin Roosevelt decided to move Thanksgiving up a week. Sure, he did that because a bunch of big retailers asked him to, but still, if you ask me, it was the first salvo in the war on Thanksgiving.

So, this year, if you have to leave the Thanksgiving dinner table before the pumpkin pie is served so you can take your family Christmas shopping, blame the liberals.

Of course, if you don’t want to blame the liberals then, what the heck — blame Karl Rove.

1
Text Only
Local News
  • 0420earthday.jpg Prairie State Park kicks off Earth Day events

    Prairie State Park began celebrating Earth Day early with an event Saturday that provided a chance for people of all ages to learn more about how they can protect the environment.

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo

  • Joplin Catholic schools to hold annual spring auction

    The Joplin Area Catholic Schools spring auction will be staged Saturday at the Jack Lawton Webb Convention Center, 5300 S. Range Line Road in Joplin.

    April 19, 2014

  • Wally Kennedy MUG72.jpg Wally Kennedy: Another pizza choice and ice cream on the way

    A new pizza restaurant is coming to the northwest corner of Stone’s Corner in the Village of Airport Drive. Piez is opening this week in a storefront that formerly housed Quincy Magoo’s, 6039 N. Main Street Road, which has been closed for more than two years.

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo

  • mike pound_cnhi .jpg Mike Pound: No more hiding Easter eggs or emotions

    Well, that’s a wrap on the Easter egg hunts. For about 15 years we have staged not one, but two Easter egg hunts for our now 16-year-old daughter, Emma.

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo

  • 041914 Wedding1_72.jpg VIDEO: Cancer patient walks down aisle in wedding thrown by friends

    A year ago, Schandera Jordan was diagnosed with a rare form cervical cancer. And months after a radical hysterectomy, doctors confirmed the worst: The cancer had spread to her lungs and pancreas.

    April 19, 2014 2 Photos

  • r041614giregabby.jpg SLIDE SHOW: Teen with cystic fibrosis finds widespread support

    When the Nevada Show Choir performs its spring show on stage, it’s impossible to pick out the student with cystic fibrosis because there are no outward clues.
    Gabby Gire, 18, is just another performer. She sings, she dances, she smiles for the audience.

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo 1 Slideshow

  • Enrollment open for Joplin summer school

    Enrollment is now open for the Joplin school district’s summer school session, which will run Wednesday, June 4, though Tuesday, July 1.

    April 19, 2014

  • r041814capbus4.jpg Funding shortfall could hinder public transportation in Southeast Kansas

    For the past two years, Pittsburg State University sophomore Travis Cook has been using public transportation to get to and from his classes. He began using the bus his freshman year, when he didn’t have a vehicle to drive even to the grocery store — which is said to be the case for many who use the service.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • Bruner denied change of venue for murder trial

    Circuit Judge Gayle Crane has denied a change of venue for a defendant charged with fatally shooting an assistant football coach at Missouri Southern State University. The attorney for Jeffrey Bruner claimed pretrial publicity as the reason for seeking a change of venue in Jasper County Circuit Court.

    April 18, 2014

  • Russell family sues city, Joplin police

    Family members of a teenage girl whose suicide a year ago brought them into conflict with police officers and emergency medical technicians are suing the city and the Joplin Police Department. Kevin and Julissa Russell and their son, Brant Russell, are the plaintiffs in a lawsuit filed in Jasper County Circuit Court. The action filed on the Russells’ behalf by Kansas City attorney Andrew Protzman names the city, the Police Department and Officers Austin Wolf and Tyler Christensen as defendants.

    April 18, 2014

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

Missouri Republicans are considering a new approach to prevent federal agents from enforcing laws the state considers to be infringements on gun rights: barring them from future careers in state law enforcement agencies. Do you think this proposal has merit?

Yes
No
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter