The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

April 18, 2013

Mike Pound: Bow tie can make for stylish suds

By Mike Pound

— I may have to rethink my position on bow ties.

A few months ago, I wrote a column explaining that I was not a fan of the bow tie. What prompted the column was the fact that bow ties apparently were making a fashion comeback. I wrote that I was uneasy with the bow tie. Well, I may have said that I was more than “uneasy” with the bow tie, and I may have mocked the bow tie a bit.

For the most part, I was joking when I wrote the column, and thankfully most folks understood that. Joplin businessman Jay Humphreys took the time to write me a nice note, and he included a bow tie with the note. At first, I was nervous when I opened the note and found the tie. I was afraid that sending someone a bow tie was like sending someone a dead fish in the movie “The Godfather.”

I also received a nice and funny email from Jim Haas. Jim, an engineer, explained that he began wearing bow ties because his job involved working around a lot of machinery with moving parts. A regular tie was somewhat of a safety hazard, he said.

Of course, unsaid in my column was the fact that bow ties intimidate me. I don’t know how to tie one, and I’m afraid I would look like a dork if I wore one. Some people can pull of a bow tie. I am not some people.

Also left unsaid was the fact that I wore a bow tie in my high school senior class picture (it was the 1970s). I thought the bow tie would shout out “sophisticated”; instead, it shouted out “circus clown.”

What I’m saying is some people are born to wear bow ties, and some people are born to wear Hawaiian shirts.

But now I may have to rethink my fear of the bow tie. According to an item in Thursday’s Globe, the folks at Anheuser-Busch have developed a bow tie-shaped Budweiser can.

The story said Anheuser-Busch designed the can to look like the company’s bow tie Budweiser logo.

I may have made this up, but the Anheuser-Busch people’s first plan was to make a can in the shape of a Clydesdale, but they couldn’t figure out what to do with the tail.

The bow tie-shaped can has been under development since 2010 at the company’s top-secret can plant. Well, I’m assuming the Anheuser-Busch can plant is top-secret. You can’t let just anyone get their hands on your can plans, can you?

That was a fun sentence to write.

Like a lot of people, I was wondering how a bow tie-shaped can would work. How would the Anheuser-Busch people get the Budweiser in the can, and, more importantly, how would I get it out? So I did some research. First I got on the phone and talked to several bow tie designers. Then I called several engineers and discovered how the bow tie-shaped can would work.

OK, what I really did was Google “Budweiser Bow Tie Can,” and I found some pictures of the new design.

It turns out the new can looks less like a bow tie and more like a regular can with two dents. The new bow tie-shaped can looks like a beer can that you might find in my canoe at the end of a float trip.

The AP story also said that the new can will hold only 11.5 ounces of beer as opposed to the current 12-ounce cans.

I don’t think that’s right.

If anything, the new can should hold more beer than the regular can. The new bow tie-shaped can should send a message that says, “Sure, I’m drinking out of a bow tie-shaped can, but at least it holds more beer than yours.”

And if the can engineers need some help coming up with a bow tie can that will hold more than 12 ounces of beer, I can send them the tie I wore in my senior class picture.

That thing should hold a case of beer at least.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.