It’s a good thing I didn’t get involved in one of those NCAA basketball March Madness office pools.
First of all, as everyone knows, those March Madness office pools are illegal. Sure, they’re not as illegal as knocking over a liquor store, but still they are against the law. But the thing is, IF I got involved in one of those (illegal) March Madness office pools, I would probably do something stupid like pick Kansas University to win the national championship. For years, if I would have gotten involved in one of those March Madness office pools (but, of course, I didn’t because they are illegal), I would have picked KU to win the national championship. And for years, had I gotten involved in one of those March Madness office pools, and had I picked KU to go all the way, I would have lost the money that would have been “donated” to be part of the pool. But I didn’t, because that would have been illegal.
There was one time that I would not have picked KU to win the national championship. That, of course, would have been 1988, the year, as it turns out, that KU actually did win the national championship. If that had happened, it would have been the sort of thing that would have made me want to pick KU to win it all in every March Madness office pool after 1988. If I had done that sort of thing, that would mean that over the past 20 years I would have lost a lot of money.
Gosh, I’m glad I’m not that *&%$ stupid.
This year, since I’m not involved in a March Madness office pool, I couldn’t have picked KU to win the national championship. But if I were involved in a March Madness office pool, I would have picked KU to win the national championship, which, of course, would mean that KU would lose in one of the early rounds.
That’s what would have happened in the past. I would have picked the Jayhawks to win it all, and they would get eliminated in the first or second round, which would mean, if I was involved in a March Madness office pool, I would have kissed my money goodbye (figuratively speaking, of course).
And it’s not just KU that would have caused me to do poorly in a March Madness office pool had I been involved in one. I tend to be a person who likes basketball teams from the Big 12 Conference, so this year, if I had gotten involved in an illegal March Madness office pool, I probably would have picked every Big 12 team in the tournament to win at least two games. I even would have picked the Missouri Tigers to win one or two games, and they’re not even in the tournament. Although, I did hear MU was asked to play in a prison league.
But I could be wrong about that.
See, if I had gotten involved in one of those March Madness pools this year, I would have picked Baylor to beat Purdue, and that would have been wrong. Well, it wouldn’t be so much wrong as *&%$ stupid. I also would have picked Kansas State to beat Southern Cal, which, since I’m writing this Thursday afternoon, may or may not also have been *&^&% stupid.
In fact, had I gotten involved in one of those illegal March Madness office pools, I might even have picked KU to play Texas in the championship game, which, without question, would have been not just *&^ stupid but *&&^%$#@$%^*%$ stupid.
So I’m glad I didn’t get involved in one of those illegal office pools.
Instead, I can save my money. I can use it for something important. Something that will help get me through another KU loss in the NCAA tournament.
Beer. Good thing that’s not illegal.
