The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

April 25, 2013

Mike Pound: NFL draft craziness goes overboard

By now, some of the madness is over.

And no, I don’t mean the dedication of the George W. Bush presidential library. Seriously, did anyone ever think the words “George Bush” and “library” would be used in the same sentence?

Ha. That’s a George Bush joke.

I know he has been out of office since 2008, but hey, I still make Bill Clinton jokes, and a few months ago I even made a Millard Fillmore joke.

No, the madness I’m talking about is the first round of the NFL draft.

Sure, the morons on ESPN will still be yammering about rounds two and three today, and they will be yammering about rounds four, five, six and seven on Saturday, but for the most part, the madness is over.

It’s Thursday afternoon as I type this, so I have no idea what happened during the first round of the NFL draft.

The Kansas City Chiefs had the first pick in this year’s draft. The way a team gets to pick first is to really suck the year before. It’s quite the honor.

Normally, the great thing about picking early in the NFL draft is that you get to select a really good player — the sort of player who can turn your team around. Last year, the Indianapolis Colts had the first pick in the draft and selected quarterback Andrew Luck. The Washington Redskins, who traded with the St. Louis Rams for the second pick, selected quarterback Robert Griffin III. Both picks turned their teams around and led them to the playoffs.

So, picking early in the draft can be a big deal. Well, it would be if there was someone such as Andrew Luck or Robert Griffin III to pick, but this year there isn’t.

The top contenders are Eric Fisher and Luke Joeckel. Look, I’m sure both Eric and Luke are fine players and will have very good NFL careers, but they’re offensive linemen, and let’s face it, offensive linemen don’t make folks say “WOW!”

Sigh.

The Chiefs can’t even suck at the right time.

When I was a kid, the NFL draft was something you read about in the newspaper a few days after it happened.

“Hey, did you see that the Chiefs drafted Gene Trosch in the first round?”

“No, when did that happen?”

“Last week, I think.”

In case you’re wondering, the Chiefs drafted Gene Trosch in the first round in 1967. Until I looked it up on the Internet a few minutes ago, I had never heard of Gene Trosch. I mean, I’m a Chiefs fan, but I’m not a crazy Chiefs fan.

But nowadays, people start talking about the NFL draft in October. When a team starts sucking, the big-time sports media folks start wondering whom the team will pick if it gets the No. 1 draft choice.

Then, after the season is over, the NFL draft talk really kicks in. ESPN starts devoting hours and hours to draft coverage every day. The ESPN sports morons sit around tables talking about which team will pick which player. At the end of each day, most viewers, before turning the TV off, think the same thing: “Those morons don’t have a clue.”

It’s 3:23 p.m. as I type this. I just checked ESPN and discovered that their NFL draft coverage is pretty much under way, and the morons still aren’t sure who the Chiefs are going to draft.

I’m pulling for Gene Trosch III.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at mpound@joplinglobe.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

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