The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

March 7, 2013

Mike Pound: Congress should lead the way with the sequester

I’m waiting for our Congress creatures to start furloughing themselves.

I mean, it’s the only fair thing to do now that the sequester is under way. By the way, I’m only guessing that a sequester can actually be under way. I mean, I think sequester is a noun but it could also be a verb. It might even be a gerund but I’ve forgotten what a gerund is. I think a gerund is either a noun-like verb or it’s a type of pickle.

Back to our Congress creatures. It seems to me that since this whole sequester thing is their fault, the least they can do is take unpaid furloughs like other federal workers may have to do at some point.

It’s only fair.

The whole point of the sequester in the first place was to force our Congress creatures to agree on ways to reduce the federal deficit. The idea, as I understand it, was that the threat of the sequester would be enough for our Congress creatures to get off their Limbaughs and finally agree on something.

At the time it didn’t seem like that big of a deal until somebody said, “Oh wait! You mean THIS Congress?”

Now people are saying that if the sequester continues, federal workers are going to have to start taking unpaid furloughs. Granted, calling our Congress creatures federal “workers” is a bit of a stretch but they do get paid for what they do (or don’t do).

I think our Congress creatures would set a great example for the rest of the country if they would lead the way with unpaid furloughs. They would set an even better example if they would stop mailing out those dumb Congressional newsletters. I don’t know what our Congress creatures pay to send out those newsletters, but whatever they pay, it’s too much.

As long as we’re talking about ways our Congress creatures can save money, we can start making John Boehner pay for his own tanning sessions. Again, I don’t know what John pays for his tanning sessions, but whatever he pays, it’s too much.

We could also charge our Congress creatures to use the Congressional restroom. Again, it’s only fair.

I read recently about a restaurant in Tennessee that tried to charge a women $5 because she used the restaurant’s restroom but didn’t order anything to eat or drink.

I’m figuring that since our Congress creatures aren’t doing anything of value for us, they should have to pay to use the bathrooms. I’m thinking $10 would be a fair price. Well, $25 if you’re a Republican. Ha! That’s a joke. Both Republicans and Democrats should have to pay $25.

Of course, there is one guy who won’t have a problem having to pay to use the little Congress creature’s room, and that guy is Rand Paul. By the way, is it just me, or does Rand Paul’s name sound like it’s backward?

Anyway, Rand, a Republican senator from Kentucky, spoke for almost 13 hours to delay a vote on the new CIA director. That’s almost 13 hours without a bathroom break.

Of course, after Rand stop talking the rest of the senators sort of yawned and voted to confirm the new CIA director anyway.

Folks call what Rand did a “filibuster.” I call what Rand did a “giant waste of time.”

See, I don’t want a senator to talk for 13 hours without going to the bathroom. I want a senator to end the sequester.

But maybe that’s just me.

So, until the sequester deal is settled, I say our Congress creatures should have to take one week a month off without pay. They can take their unpaid days off all at once or they can take a couple days every week.

Either way, I don’t think anyone else will notice.

 

1
Text Only
Local News
  • Cherokee County Commission accepts general counsel's resignation

    Kevin Cure, who has served as general counsel for the Cherokee County Commission since 2005, submitted a handwritten resignation to the board on Monday in the aftermath of a landfill controversy.

    July 22, 2014

  • Mike Pound 2010.jpg Mike Pound: Parents can get help with school supplies

    I don’t know much about demographics other than the fact that I no longer belong to a “targeted demographic.” When I was younger, I was bombarded by commercials and ads from companies that were trying to sell me things that I not only needed but wanted.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jasper County Commission reviews traffic plans

    The Jasper County Commission will hold public hearings today and Thursday on a number of traffic changes proposed in the county. No one spoke when the first hearing was held Tuesday as part of the regular commission meeting, according to Jim Honey, Eastern District associate commissioner.

    July 22, 2014

  • Neosho school board hires company to manage substitutes

    Citing its hopes of shifting health care costs and utilizing more time from retired teachers, the Neosho Board of Education granted a contract Monday to a temporary employee company to manage its substitute teacher program.

    July 22, 2014

  • Main Street TIF district study to begin

    A measure that allows the city to charge its $15,000 in administrative costs for studying a proposal to create a tax increment financing district on South Main Street was approved Monday by the Joplin City Council.

    July 21, 2014

  • Carthage man pleads guilty in sexual abuse case

    A Carthage man pleaded guilty Monday to sexual abuse of a 12-year-old girl in a plea agreement that would cap the length of his prison term at no more than 15 years.

    July 21, 2014

  • Burglary conviction draws shock prison time

    A Joplin man who received 120 days of shock incarceration time Friday in a drunken-driving case in Jasper County Circuit Court was assessed a concurrent sentence Monday in a burglary case.

    July 21, 2014

  • State audit of Joplin School District begins

    Staff members from the state auditor’s office have begun their audit of the Joplin School District, Superintendent C.J. Huff said Monday. They are expected to be in the district four days per week for the next five to six months, or perhaps longer, until the audit is complete, Huff said.

    July 21, 2014

  • Mike Pound 2010.jpg Mike Pound: Family gatherings mirror circle of life

    The annual family gathering is getting bigger. There tends to be an ebb and a flow to most family gatherings. When you’re a kid, and especially if you’re a kid from a large Catholic family, the gatherings seem to be huge.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • 071714 Jasper Cty Dispatch1_72.jpg Area communities, Jasper County work to improve communications

    The first law enforcement officer to respond to a fatal shooting last November at Northpark Mall was from the Duquesne Police Department — not Joplin. Joplin police Chief Jason Burns said he wasn’t bothered by that. “We dispatch for them, and they had an officer close who could get there faster,” he said. “And getting help to people as quickly as possible is more important than jurisdictions.”

    July 20, 2014 2 Photos

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

A state lawmaker who is one of two doctors in the Oklahoma Legislature is insisting that unaccompanied immigrant minors being housed at Fort Sill be quarantined. Do you think those kinds of measures should be taken?

A. Yes.
B. No.
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter