I’m waiting for our Congress creatures to start furloughing themselves.
I mean, it’s the only fair thing to do now that the sequester is under way. By the way, I’m only guessing that a sequester can actually be under way. I mean, I think sequester is a noun but it could also be a verb. It might even be a gerund but I’ve forgotten what a gerund is. I think a gerund is either a noun-like verb or it’s a type of pickle.
Back to our Congress creatures. It seems to me that since this whole sequester thing is their fault, the least they can do is take unpaid furloughs like other federal workers may have to do at some point.
It’s only fair.
The whole point of the sequester in the first place was to force our Congress creatures to agree on ways to reduce the federal deficit. The idea, as I understand it, was that the threat of the sequester would be enough for our Congress creatures to get off their Limbaughs and finally agree on something.
At the time it didn’t seem like that big of a deal until somebody said, “Oh wait! You mean THIS Congress?”
Now people are saying that if the sequester continues, federal workers are going to have to start taking unpaid furloughs. Granted, calling our Congress creatures federal “workers” is a bit of a stretch but they do get paid for what they do (or don’t do).
I think our Congress creatures would set a great example for the rest of the country if they would lead the way with unpaid furloughs. They would set an even better example if they would stop mailing out those dumb Congressional newsletters. I don’t know what our Congress creatures pay to send out those newsletters, but whatever they pay, it’s too much.
As long as we’re talking about ways our Congress creatures can save money, we can start making John Boehner pay for his own tanning sessions. Again, I don’t know what John pays for his tanning sessions, but whatever he pays, it’s too much.
We could also charge our Congress creatures to use the Congressional restroom. Again, it’s only fair.
I read recently about a restaurant in Tennessee that tried to charge a women $5 because she used the restaurant’s restroom but didn’t order anything to eat or drink.
I’m figuring that since our Congress creatures aren’t doing anything of value for us, they should have to pay to use the bathrooms. I’m thinking $10 would be a fair price. Well, $25 if you’re a Republican. Ha! That’s a joke. Both Republicans and Democrats should have to pay $25.
Of course, there is one guy who won’t have a problem having to pay to use the little Congress creature’s room, and that guy is Rand Paul. By the way, is it just me, or does Rand Paul’s name sound like it’s backward?
Anyway, Rand, a Republican senator from Kentucky, spoke for almost 13 hours to delay a vote on the new CIA director. That’s almost 13 hours without a bathroom break.
Of course, after Rand stop talking the rest of the senators sort of yawned and voted to confirm the new CIA director anyway.
Folks call what Rand did a “filibuster.” I call what Rand did a “giant waste of time.”
See, I don’t want a senator to talk for 13 hours without going to the bathroom. I want a senator to end the sequester.
But maybe that’s just me.
So, until the sequester deal is settled, I say our Congress creatures should have to take one week a month off without pay. They can take their unpaid days off all at once or they can take a couple days every week.
Either way, I don’t think anyone else will notice.
Local News
Mike Pound: Congress should lead the way with the sequester
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Civil War committee honors sacrifice of soldiers ambushed at Rader Farm
Dozens of local residents gathered Saturday at the Rader Farm on the 150th anniversary of the massacre of 15 soldiers of the 1st Kansas Colored Volunteer Infantry and three white soldiers from the 2nd Kansas Volunteer Artillery Battery by guerrilla Confederate forces.
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Summer classes scheduled for Joplin, MSSU
Summer classes for Joplin Schools have been scheduled for Monday, June 3, through Friday, June 28.
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Mike Pound: No cure for ‘worst parent ever syndrome’
I may be the worst parent ever. The reason I say that is because our 15-year-old daughter, Emma, suggested that was the case the other day when I was driving her home from school.
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Wally Kennedy: Ye Olde King Pizza to open by September
Let’s start at the beginning. Earlier this year, Brian and Tracy Myers, of Joplin, signed a licensing agreement to bring a Ye Olde King Pizza to Joplin. This style of pizza was the forerunner for what eventually would become Joplin’s signature pizza restaurant, Pizza by Stout. That restaurant at 2101 S. Range Line Road was destroyed by the May 2011 tornado.
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FACES OF RECOVERY: 176,869 volunteers help put Joplin together again
They initially came in droves, pouring into Joplin by the thousands during the months following the May 2011 tornado to clear debris, clean up damaged homes and businesses and distribute donations of food, water, clothing and other necessities.
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VIDEO: Nearly 2,300 take part in second Joplin Memorial Run
Having just cruised across the line to finish in first place in the Joplin Memorial Run’s half-marathon, Andrew Webb paused for a moment to catch his breath and take it all in.
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PBS stations to broadcast ‘Deadline in Disaster’ documentary
Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) stations across Missouri this week will broadcast “Deadline in Disaster,’’ a one-hour documentary that chronicles how The Joplin Globe helped its readers find hope in the aftermath of the EF-5 tornado that struck Joplin two years ago this week.
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Hatred, resentment and retribution fueled bloody encounter at Rader’s Farm
Members of the 1st Kansas Colored Volunteer Infantry regiment had been in Jasper County in large numbers on previous foraging missions. Coming from their outpost in modern-day Baxter Springs, Kan., the armed former slaves in Union uniforms had entered the property and homes of white residents to take their food or other useful supplies.
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Ceremony to mark push for Civil War memorial
Organizers hope that today’s ceremony marking the 150th anniversary of a Civil War battle northwest of Joplin also will encourage support to finance a permanent memorial on the site.
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Disaster response team to hold tornado memorial ride
A group of motorcycle enthusiasts who focus on disaster relief plan to hold a motorcycle ride through Joplin on the second anniversary of the May 22, 2011, tornado.
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