The Joplin Globe, Joplin, MO

Local News

January 3, 2013

Mike Pound: Bow ties are cool — oh really?

I was standing in line at a clothing store the other day when I saw something that scared me.

By the way, I was in the clothing store for the second time that day. The reason I was in the store for the second time was because the first time I was in the store, I purchased two sweaters that I thought were one size but turned out to be a larger size. I thought they were extra-large sweaters, but it turned out they were double-extra-large sweaters.

I have nothing against double-extra-large sweaters. I used to be a double-extra-large myself, but my doctor suggested that I cut back on the triple cheeseburgers or I would turn into one.

So I did, and now I am just an extra-large. A mere shell of myself is what I am.

The reason I thought I was buying extra-large sweaters was because although I am personally not old, my eyes are old, and I saw only one “X” on the sweater labels when I should have seen two of them.

So anyway, I was standing in line at the clothing store, waiting to exchange my sweaters, when I saw something that scared me. It was standing right next to me. It was a mannequin without a head or legs.

The fact that the mannequin was without a head or legs was not what scared me. I’ve noticed over the years that more and more clothing stores have been opting to use headless and legless mannequins. I don’t know who is to blame for that, but I’m going to blame Obama.

No, what scared me was what the headless, legless mannequin was wearing. It was wearing a nice sport coat, a white dress shirt and — gasp — a bow tie.

It seems that every 20 years or so, the bow tie tries to make a comeback, and we have to put up with bow tie-wearing folks who think they are superior to the rest of us regular tie wearers.

It’s irritating is what it is.

This may be a gross generalization, but I’ve always felt that the folks who wear bow ties take themselves too seriously. I know that’s not true in all cases, but in general, I think, it’s true.

First of all, you have to make an effort to wear a bow tie. Tying a bow tie is like tying a fly for fishing. At least I think it is, since I haven’t actually tied a fishing fly. I mean, why spend an hour tying a fishing fly when you’ve got worms?

Now, my friend Bud Morgan, who is an avid fly fisherman, would beg to differ, but Bud isn’t like me. Bud isn’t lazy.

Now, I’m not complaining about bow ties because I don’t know how to tie a bow tie. Well, actually I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

I tried to tie a bow tie — once. They had to call the paramedics to get it off me.

I wore a bow tie to my high school prom. In my defense, it was the ’70s. I had long hair and wore bell bottoms in the ’70s, too. But you don’t see me doing that now.

The thing that really scared me was that there were a lot of bow ties on display. The people who run the clothing store made a concerted effort to basically say: “Look! We have bow ties!”

I don’t know much about the clothing business, but it seems to me that the people who run stores wouldn’t make a big deal about displaying something if they didn’t think it would sell. That would be sort of dumb.

Clothing maker: “I have these bow ties that never sell.”

Clothing store owner: “I’ll take 2,000 please.”

Nope, I’m thinking that the reason the clothing store people have bow ties prominently displayed is that they are back, and soon we will have to endure a bunch of bow tie-wearing folks who will scoff at regular folks.

It’s a good thing I wear Hawaiian shirts. Nobody scoffs at Hawaiian shirts.

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA for Mike Pound’s column? Call him at 417-623-3480, ext. 7259, or email him at mpound@joplinglobe.com. Follow him on Twitter @mikepoundglobe.

1
Text Only
Local News
  • r072814dogbike.jpg Cross-country trip promotes animal adoption

    Where’s Bixby? Not the town in Oklahoma, but the dog on the back of a bicycle ridden by Mike Minnick. On Monday, the two were in Joplin, one stop on a cross-country bike trip to promote the adoption of dogs and cats from local shelters.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • 4.3 magnitude quake reported in northern Oklahoma

    The U.S. Geological Survey says an earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 4.3 struck northern Oklahoma on Monday night.

    July 29, 2014

  • Update: 4 workers injured in SE Kansas oil refinery fire

    A Texas company says four workers at a southeast Kansas oil refinery were burned in an early morning fire.

    July 29, 2014

  • Seneca man draws concurrent term in sexual abuse case

    A 39-year-old man who sexually abused a girl over a four-year period in both Joplin and Seneca received a 15-year sentence Monday in Newton County that will run concurrently with a term he received earlier this year in Jasper County.

    July 28, 2014

  • Judge lifts seal on records in Parsons quadruple slaying

    A judge has rescinded his order sealing court records in the case of David Bennett Jr., who is accused of killing a Parsons woman and her three children.

    July 28, 2014

  • Defendant who pulled knife on ER doctor sent for treatment

    A man accused of pulling a knife on a Freeman Hospital West emergency room doctor pleaded guilty to a reduced charge Monday and was sentenced to the state prison system’s Institutional Treatment Center.

    July 28, 2014

  • Wal-Mart to build second local Neighborhood Market

    A second Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market store is planned for Joplin. The company has filed an application with the city to rezone nearly six acres of land on the west side of town in the tornado zone to build a new Neighborhood Market and gas station.

    July 28, 2014

  • r072814mailcar.jpg VIDEO: Train mail car trailered on Joplin's Main Street to Redings Mill

    With a police escort leading the way Monday, postal car No. 34 breezed through downtown Joplin en route to its new home in Redings Mill, where it was greeted by a welcome party of local residents and railroad enthusiasts.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo 1 Slideshow

  • Anti-landfill group seeks grand jury probe

    As more than 200 people filed into Riverton High School on Sunday to attend an anti-landfill group meeting, many stopped to sign a petition asking the Cherokee County District Court to summon a grand jury to investigate how land was acquired by the city of Galena for a proposed landfill.

    July 27, 2014

  • 072814_jd anderson.jpg VIDEO: Noel strongman advances on talent show

    The past week has been busier than normal for Noel resident J.D. Anderson. Members of the production crew for NBC’s “America’s Got Talent” told him they have shot more footage of him than of other contestants for the next episode. “They said I have the busiest schedule of anyone this week,” Anderson told the Globe in a phone interview Friday. “There’s so many fun things you can do with B-roll as a strongman.”

    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

Must Read
Sports
Photos


Facebook
Poll

Given that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that electronic devices and communications are protected from searches and seizure without a warrant, do you think Missouri needs Amendment 9 added to its constitution?

A. Yes.
B. No.
     View Results
Opinion
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter