By Mike Pound
Globe Staff Writer
JOPLIN, Mo. —
The other morning, I walked downstairs and found our daughter, Emma, standing by the door waiting for her friend Katie to pick her up for school.
“Ouch!” Emma said as I walked by.
I’m used to people saying “Ouch!” when I walk by, so I kept on walking.
“Ouch, that hurts,” Emma said as I kept on walking.
People normally don’t add “that hurts” when I walk by. Well, unless I’m dancing.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“It’s these shoes. They’re Mom’s, and they’re too small,” Emma said.
“Then why are you wearing them?” I asked.
Emma looked at me as if I asked her why the sun comes up.
“Because they look amazing on me,” Emma said.
“I see,” I said, even though I never see when either Emma or my wife say things. I just find that it’s easier to say it than to listen to them try to explain what they mean.
It’s a timesaving device.
Because Emma is a 14-year-old female she is keenly aware of things related to fashion. Actually, in Emma’s case, being 14 has little to do with her fashion fever. Emma has been a fan of fashion for as long as I can remember.
Before she learned how to walk, Emma was asking for designer onesies. When she was born, she criticized what I was wearing.
The other day Emma was talking to me about college. I expected her to talk about things such as majors, academics and careers; instead, Emma told me what she was going to wear on her first day of school.
I’m not sure where Emma got her taste for fashion. My wife likes fashion but not to the extent that Emma does. As for me, fashion is what I wore in the ’80s.
That’s the way it is with guys. When they find a fashion they like, they stick with it. Guys aren’t fickle when it comes to clothes. When I buy a shirt, I figure I am making a commitment to that shirt. I would never think of discarding that shirt when a newer, hotter shirt comes along.
That’s why I kept my denim sport coat for as long as I did. I loved that coat. To me, it said “casually formal.” To my wife, that coat said “totally awful.”
I think my wife was jealous of my denim sport coat.
I would still have that coat today if my wife hadn’t taken it to a denim sport coat farm, where it could play with other denim sport coats.
At least that’s what she said she did with it.
Clearly, Emma didn’t get her fashion sense from me. Maybe somewhere in my family tree there is a branch full of fashion folks. I doubt that very much, but I guess anything is possible.
Emma subscribes to all sorts of fashion magazines. I don’t know the names of many of them, but most have the word “teen” in them.
When I was Emma’s age, the only fashion magazine I ever read was the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Hey, it was important to me that I keep up with the latest trends in swimsuits.
When Emma gets up in the morning, not only does she know exactly what she is going to wear that morning, she knows exactly what she is going to wear for the rest of the month. And in case something goes wrong, she has backup outfits for each day.
I’m not sure what I’m wearing right now.
I would like to think Emma’s fashion fix is just a phase, but I would also like to think our Congress Creatures will quit fighting and actually get something done.
It’s not just a phase, is what I’m saying.
But who knows? Maybe one day things will come full circle and Emma will bring home a denim sport coat.
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