For once, I’m on the side of Jerry Jones.
Jerry owns the Dallas Cowboys. He thinks the Cowboys are a big deal. And to show just how big, he built a stadium that literally surrounds the entire city of Dallas. That’s right, Cowboys Stadium is actually bigger than the city of Dallas.
I think that’s right.
When Jerry first bought the Cowboys, he hired a guy named Jimmy Johnson to coach his team. Jerry and Jimmy were old friends and things went well for the guys when Jimmy’s teams won two straight Super Bowls. But, after a while, Jerry got sort of jealous because all the sports people were giving much of the credit for the team’s success to Jimmy instead of Jerry. I guess Jerry thought it was unfair that Jimmy was getting the credit when all he did was pick the players on the team and coach them.
Anyway, one night Jerry and Jimmy got into an argument. Jimmy quit and Jerry decided he would take over picking the players for the Cowboys. That was in 1993, and since that time not only have the Cowboys never won another Super Bowl, they haven’t come close to being in a Super Bowl. Yet Jerry still thinks he can run a football team.
But Friday, I read a story in The Associated Press about a dispute between a Cowboys fan and the Cowboys organization that has me rooting for Jerry.
According to the AP, a Texas woman is suing the organization and Jerry because she claims her buttocks were severely burned when she sat on a bench outside the stadium.
I guess I could see that. I mean there was probably no way of suspecting that a bench outside of a football stadium would be hot. It’s not as if it was a hot summer day, or that the bench was painted a color that absorbs heat like — I don’t know — black.
Then I read the next paragraph in the AP story.
The woman “said the black marble bench was in direct sunlight on a hot August afternoon before a Cowboys scrimmage last year.”
Then I read some more, “A weather official said the high temperature on that day was 101 degrees.”
I don’t mean to make light of the woman’s injuries, because, according to the AP, in her lawsuit the woman alleges she was hospitalized and had to undergo skin grafts.
In fact, I feel bad for the woman, but I don’t see how her injuries are Jerry’s fault.
I’ve been in Dallas on a hot summer day. Dallas gives new meaning to the word “hot.”
I also have black interior in my car and I know what happens if my car sits in the sun for a while. It gets hot, is what happens. Really hot. The kind of hot Barack Obama gets whenever Joe Biden opens his mouth.
So I’m thinking that most folks before sitting down on a black bench in the hot Dallas sun would ask themselves one important question: “I wonder if this bench is hot?”
But apparently the woman suing Jerry didn’t ask herself that question and she thinks her lack of curiosity is Jerry’s fault. The AP, in its story, said: “The lawsuit claims there were no warnings about sitting on the benches in hot weather.”
I bet that’s true. Just like most stove tops don’t come with warnings about sitting on hot burners.
Let’s face it, there are just some things folks should know without being told.
You know, like how it’s a bad idea to fire your football coach after he wins two Super Bowls.
For once, I’m on the side of Jerry Jones.
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