HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The Weather Channel said Friday that glaciers are melting in the Alps in Europe's hottest August on record. Global warming is pretty scary. By this time next summer, Ted Williams could be leading the balloting for comeback player of the year.

"Open Range," starring Kevin Costner, opened nationwide on Friday. Cowboys shoot holes in a bunch of bad guys who try to mess up their range. It's believed to be the first movie script ever lifted directly from the transcript of a cabinet meeting.

The California secretary of state approved 135 names for the recall ballot. How crazy is it? The slate includes a bodybuilder, a porn star, a lingerie model, a prop comic and a smut peddler, and they're the Republicans.

New York City began recovering Friday from the biggest power outage in U.S. history. Most of the Northeast was affected. The blackout cut off electricity for seven states and Canada, or as Fox News would put it, eight states including Canada.

Iraqis smiled Friday when they got news of the U.S. power outage. They offered tips to help Americans survive without electricity and beat the heat. Nothing keeps you cool like going from basement to basement while playing Hide the Dictator.

President Bush reacted calmly Friday to television pictures of the New York City blackout. Maybe it wasn't unexpected. A Bush presidency hasn't really hit its stride until tens of thousands of people are sleeping on the streets of New York.

Democrats ripped President Bush on Friday for attending a California fund-raiser during the power outage back east. The threat of another massive power loss has politicians very nervous. Democrats know that Gray Davis could go out at any moment.

President Bush returned to his ranch in Texas on Friday night after two days in California. He just can't stand the screwy state with its goofy politics. He likes to be home where there's a normal government, half in Austin and half in Albuquerque.

Governor Gray Davis was hammered by low approval ratings Thursday which left his detractors gleeful. How bad is it? To improve his standing with California voters Gray Davis is thinking seriously of admitting he killed Nicole Brown Simpson.

West Wing alum Rob Lowe was offered a staff job by Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had to accept. Rob Lowe videotaped himself having sex with two underage teenage girls in 1988 and fifteen years later he is still working off his community service.

Arnold's adviser Warren Buffett said Friday that California's property taxes are too low. They were cut by the legendary Proposition 13. No one wants to say it's set in stone, but by comparison Moses descended from Mt. Sinai with the Ten Suggestions.

Alabama's Supreme Court Chief Justice defied a federal court order to remove the Ten Commandments. This is a rich tradition. There was a time in this country when the National Guard volunteered for Vietnam to keep from being sent to Alabama.

The Pentagon is holding an exercise in case America is hit by a plague, a wildfire, a hurricane, a hijacking and a train derailment simultaneously. It's important to be prepared. No one knows what's going to happen if Kobe Bryant is found guilty.

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