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Mon, Nov 23 2009 

Mike Pound: Problems are starting to pile up

Sometimes a pile of junk will stay in one place so long that we will give it a name.

Wife: Did we get any mail?

Me: Yes.

Wife: Where is it?

Me: I sat it next to Bob.

Wife: Oh, I see it.

And whenever someone finally does move a pile of junk, it feels like we’ve lost a member of the family.

“I’ll never forget the way the dust used to settle on Bob,” I will say.

“He will always be in our hearts,” my wife will say.

“Get over it. It was a pile of junk,” our 11-year-old daughter, Emma, will say.

It’s sad when Emma is the voice of reason in our house.

Eventually my wife and I are going to take the bull by the tail and face the situation. Eventually my wife and I are going to have to deal with the piles of the junk in our house. And by deal with the piles of junk, I don’t mean take the piles of junk and put them in our bedroom. That practice clearly must stop.

The reason that practice must stop is because our house is beginning to lean under the weight of the piles of junk. The way I think we should deal with the piles of junk is to shovel them out the window into a waiting dump truck and pay someone to drive the truck to NASA headquarters and shoot them into space.

My wife’s plan for dealing with the piles of junk is to buy large plastic containers and put the piles of junk into the plastic containers. My wife’s plan then calls for her to carry the plastic containers full of piles of junk out to her car.

Where they will stay until she has to clean her car again.



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