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July 3, 2009

Anne Kettenbrink: Grown up enough to say goodbye

I did a very grown-up thing this week.

I mean, besides going to work, and paying two rents, and wearing my seat belt and paying bills.

I ate a sandwich with vegetables on it.

I know, that seems like a small thing. But for me, it’s almost unheard of. Now, I have nothing against certain vegetables. Carrots, corn, potatoes — I’ll eat those. I like salads, and I’ve been more adventurous lately about what I’ll eat on my salads.

But ever since I was little, I have always preferred a plain Jane sandwich. Meat, cheese and maybe some mayo. My cheeseburgers don’t even get a sauce.

But this week, I ordered a sandwich, and the only thing I asked them to hold was the tomato (because raw tomatoes have a weird, squishy texture that I just can’t get over).

Perhaps it was because Globe Editor Carol Stark blogged that she thought that I had outgrown the title of my column and that I was, indeed, quite grown.

Perhaps it was because she said I’m not quite middle-aged, which kind of makes me want to emulate that Cathy cartoon strip character. “AACK!”

Or maybe it’s just that my age is starting to catch up to me. Or would it be that I am starting to catch up to my age?

When I was growing up, I was mature for my age in a lot of respects. Obviously, eating vegetables wasn’t one of them. Even so, I’ve always thought of myself as a mature person.

But now, maybe the tables are turning. Maybe it’s time to wise up and eat right, exercise, go to bed early and not watch so much TV.

Right, moms everywhere?

I suppose now would be a good time to start. New job, new apartment, new leaf.

I will chalk it up as one of the many things that I have learned since I moved here five years ago.

Range Line is two words.

Driving on Range Line requires knowing at least two bad words.

Spaghetti red is a combination of spaghetti and chili. And it’s popular at fund-raiser feeds.

Being a “loft lizard” is apparently somehow a bad thing.

Try not to read all the letters to the editor, or you might go bonkers.

There is such a thing as an inland hurricane.

Sometimes you can actually drive through a drive-thru liquor store.

Grand Falls is quaint. And disgusting. All at the same time.

Miami might look like it’s in Florida, but it’s in Oklahoma, and it rhymes with Alabama.

Chat piles are cool, but dangerous.

Most importantly, people in this corner of the nation are probably the friendliest, most kind and helpful in the world. I have found the best doctors, dentist, hair stylist and co-workers one could ask for.

Despite all of the lifelong friends I have made, part of being grown means saying goodbye and knowing when to move on.

Even when you’re not quite ready.

Address correspondence to Anne E. Kettenbrink, c/o The Joplin Globe, P.O. Box 7, Joplin, MO 64802, or via e-mail, akettenbrink@joplinglobe.com.

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