Mike Pound: Dialing up the satellites

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March 19, 2010

Anonymous The Joplin Globe Fri Mar 19, 2010, 06:21 PM CDT

Basically I’m a pretty tolerant guy.

I don’t mind, for example, when my wife and 12-year-old daughter, Emma, decide that they have to watch that “Dancing with the People Who at One Time Were Almost Stars” show during dinner. And I don’t mind that while I’m watching an NCAA basketball tournament game, my wife wants to talk about work-related topics. I don’t mind because I don’t listen. But still.

However, lately Emma has discovered something that is beginning to test my tolerance.

I have satellite radio in my car. I like satellite radio. Satellite radio allows a person to listen to a wide variety of music. It also allows a person to listen to people talk about a wide variety of subjects. That’s what I’ve heard, at least. The only thing I know, for sure, is Jimmy Buffett has a satellite radio station and, really, that’s all I need to know.

Emma, on the other dial, knows a lot about satellite radio. She knows, for example, that she can push a button on my car radio that will group the radio stations into a particular musical format. So Emma can punch in the “Pop” format and dial her way through all of the satellite radio pop music stations. She can do the same thing with the “Hip Hop” format. Although, to be honest, I don’t know the difference between a hip-hop station and a pop station. The only thing I can think of is that there is more hop on a hip-hop station than there is on a pop station.

But I could be wrong.

I would be OK if Emma was content to dial her way through a musical format until she found the station she was looking for and then left the radio on that station. I mean, I would rather Emma dial up Jimmy Buffett’s radio station and left it there but, like I said, I’m a pretty tolerant guy.

But Emma is not content with just finding a radio station she likes. She would rather find a song she likes. So, if after dialing up a station that is playing a song she likes Emma will say, “Oooh, I like this song,” and starting singing along.

This sort of drives me crazy, but I’m a tolerant guy

By the way, am I the only one who could give a *^%$ that Tiger Woods has decided to play in the Masters Tournament?

It’s not as if the guy has been hurt or been battling a tough disease and now is bravely coming back to play the game that he loves. No, he got caught messing around with — and I mean this with all due respect — a bunch of skanks. So he takes a few months off and then decides to play in the Masters Tournament, big deal.

As far as I’m concerned, Tiger can kiss my Limbaugh.

Anyway, like I was saying, I’m a tolerant guy so I let Emma sing along with the radio. But when the song that Emma likes is over and a new song plays, she will say, “Ooooh, I hate that song,” and dial up another channel until she finds a song that she likes. Sometimes this only takes one dial. Sometimes it takes several. Sometimes Emma will dial her way through all of the pop stations and switch over to the hip-hop stations until she finds a song she likes. She will then sing along with that song until a new song comes on. Then the whole dialing process begins all over again.

What I want to do is say, “EMMA, FOR *&^% SAKES. WOULD YOU FIND A STATION AND STICK TO IT? YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.”

But I’m a tolerant guy, so I don’t. Instead I kick Emma out of the car.

What? At least I slow down before I kick her out. Ha, I joke. No, what I do is reach over and dial up Jimmy Buffett’s radio station.

And Emma jumps out of the car.

Address correspondence to Mike Pound, c/o The Joplin Globe, P.O. Box 7, Joplin, MO 64802, or via e-mail at mpound@joplinglobe.com.

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Mike Pound: Dialing up the satellites

Joplin City Manager Mark Rohr wants the city to distribute weather radios to all Joplin homes that don’t have one. That’s 11,000 radios. Do you think that’s a good use of $300,440?

Joplin City Manager Mark Rohr wants the city to distribute weather radios to all Joplin homes that don’t have one. That’s 11,000 radios. Do you think that’s a good use of $300,440?

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