Fri, Jul 18 2008
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Published January 03, 2008 09:13 pm - By the time you read this, it will be over. After months and months of fighting, tackling, spitting, swearing, passing, running and groin injuries, the Iowa caucuses are over. Mike Pound: Looking back at pretty crazy caucuses By Mike Pound Globe columnist By the time you read this, it will be over. After months and months of fighting, tackling, spitting, swearing, passing, running and groin injuries, the Iowa caucuses are over. What? Oh, you thought I was talking about the college football season. That’s crazy. Everyone knows that the college football season doesn’t end until March. No, the Iowa caucuses ended sometime Thursday night. In true Iowa caucus fashion, approximately 37 people (and 24 pigs) braved the Iowa cold and made their choices from among the 298 presidential candidates. The winner, as every knows, was the pig who starred in the “Babe” movies. Ha. That’s a pig joke. Actually, because I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon, I don’t know who won. According to a report that I made up, more than 12 gazillion dollars (or roughly the salaries of two New York Yankees) was spent by the presidential candidates on TV advertising in Iowa. The only candidate who didn’t spend money on TV advertising was Dennis Kucinich. Although Dennis did have the Kinko’s store in Ottumwa run off 25 fliers (two-color) for him. The big news in Iowa, of course, was the rise of Mike Huckabee. At first, many folks in Iowa credited Mike’s newfound popularity to his last name. Apparently, many of the 13 or 14 actual Iowa caucus participants were surveyed, and they said Huckabee “is way more fun to say than Giuliani is.” It also turns out that many Iowa farmers actually raise huckabees on their farms. By the way, it was Mike who pulled off what I thought was the coolest trick of the caucuses this past week. What Mike did was call a news conference to complain about negative campaign ads. Then he confessed to the reporters that he himself had produced a negative TV ad directed at Mitt “Really, It’s Mitt” Romney but had decided not to run the commercial. Mike told the reporters that it was time for the negative campaigning to stop. He said he was taking a principled stand and was refusing to run any more negative ads. Then he showed the reporters the ad. Is that great or what? The reporters at the news conference thought it was great. They laughed very hard when Mike essentially said: “Hey, negative advertising is terrible. Here, watch this one I made. Oh, and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, would you write about it and make sure you play it on your newscasts?” In response, Mitt said he was going to call Mike an “overall-wearing Arkansas dimwit, but that would be wrong, so I won’t. Call him an overall-wearing Arkansas dimwit, I mean.” Of course, things weren’t much better on the Democratic side. Hillary Clinton went after Barack Obama’s kindergarten record, and Barack suggested that Hillary was “the Antichrist.” Specifically what he said was, “Hey, is it just me or does Hillary remind anyone else of the Antichrist?” John Edwards, not to be outdone, issued a statement condemning Barack’s statement by asserting that Joe Biden was actually the Antichrist. When reporters reached Joe for a response to John’s response to Barack’s response to Hillary’s response, Joe said, “I’m running for president?” 
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Running mates could come from Missouri or Kansas w/ link to the web site, politico.com
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