It’s that special time of year when everyone talks about their New Year’s resolutions. What’ll it be this time? Lose weight? Save money? Spend more time with family? Quit smoking? Exercise more?
No thanks. Don’t get me wrong — I think it’s important to have goals and think about self-improvements in the New Year. But in 2010, I’m choosing to not stress over it too much. In fact, I’m not going to worry about making a New Year’s resolution this year because that would just cause me to, well, worry.
If the term “chronic worrier” was in the dictionary, you would find my photo right next to it. I worry about normal everyday things like my family’s health, how to pay the bills, whether my car is going to break down, etc. But I also excessively stress over things like upcoming birthdays, holidays, meal planning, if my kid needs a haircut, or if we have enough coffee in the house. If it exists I worry about it and it drives me crazy. So, this year, my focus is to find ways to deal with my constant worrying.
We all worry of course, but some of us more than others. It’s our second nature, if you will. Unfortunately, excessive worrying can not only affect your mental health, but can wreak havoc on your physical well-being. If you think you’re worrying too much, there are things you can do to help alleviate some of the anxiety that may be plaguing you.
According to WebMD.com, there are nine things worriers can do to end the horrible cycle of “chronic worrying.”
Make a list of your worries. Simply identify what you consistently worry about.
Analyze the list. Then ask yourself if each of your worries is a productive or unproductive worry. A productive worry is something you can do something about right now, but an unproductive worry is something you can’t do anything about.
Embrace uncertainty. Once you’ve identified your unproductive worries, figure out what you need to accept in order to get over them. You really don’t know what the future holds, so don’t dwell on whether something will happen or not.
Bore yourself calm. Take control over one of your major fears. For example, try looking into the mirror and repeat that fear over and over until you’re completely bored with it.
Make yourself uncomfortable. Practice being uncomfortable and you will accomplish a lot more. The goal is to be able to do what you don’t want to do or things that make you uncomfortable.
Stop the clock. It doesn’t have to happen immediately, does it? Ask yourself what you can do now to make your life more pleasant or meaningful and try to avoid that feeling of needing things to happen immediately. Focus on improving the moment instead of getting an answer right now. In other words, RELAX and try to curb your anxiety instead of letting it get the best of you.
Remember that it’s never as bad as you think. With me, the “what ifs” are always what gets me — the anticipation of what might happen. In the end, I realize I worried for nothing because in actuality, it never ended up being as bad as I thought it would be. Most of the time, even if the things you worry about actually happen, you’ll probably be able to handle it anyway!
Cry about it. If you feel like crying, don’t try to hold it in. Use your emotions instead of trying to avoid them because when you’re crying or angry, you’re not worried.
n Talk it out. Talk therapy can help chronic worriers worry less by getting to the root of the problem. Digging deep enough to figure out the history of why you worry about certain things can sometimes help it to go away. Try to understand what causes your anxiety or what it’s related to.
Following these steps may not completely cure a “chronic worrier” but I’m willing to give it a shot. Should I call it a “New Year’s Resolution”? I don’t think so. That would cause me more stress, and that is definitely something I can do without.
Allison Riddle is the community services director for the Area Agency on Aging
