Sun, Nov 22 2009
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Mike Pound: Sometimes, wife is right to worry “Good morning,” I will say. “Shhhhh,” my wife will say. “I’m trying to hear if the air conditioning is kicking on.” I will tell my wife that she’s being silly. I will tell my wife that there is nothing wrong with our air-conditioning system. Many times I’m correct when I say that. Sometimes I’m not. Sometimes my wife has to call our friend Rocky, the guy who put our heating and air-conditioning system in. Rocky is always very patient and normally can diagnose the problem over the phone and my wife is able to fix the problem. Notice, I said my “wife” is able to fix the problem and not “I” am able to fix the problem. That’s because my wife knows much more about our heating and air-conditioning system than I do, what with her constantly obsessing about it. The point I’m trying to make is, sometimes it’s a good thing that my wife worries. There, I said it. Sometimes my wife is right when she worries about some sort of disaster impacting our household. But not all the time. And certainly not last Wednesday night. After I told my wife that she was crazy (Note to newly married male people: Never tell your wife that she is crazy. Especially if she is, in fact, crazy. It just makes her crazier.) And after my wife told me to drop dead (Note to newly married female people: Go ahead, if you want, and tell your husband to drop dead. Just don’t expect him to do it.) my wife told me to follow her down to our basement. So I did. My wife led me to our laundry room and pointed to a series of pipes that run along our basement ceiling. “Listen,” my wife said. So I did. My wife asked me what I heard. “Rainwater,” I said. My wife told me I was crazy. I told my wife that was quite possible but I also told her I wasn’t the one complaining about hearing running water in the middle of a rainstorm. A comment, by the way, that didn’t go over as well as I thought it might. My wife pointed to one of the many pipes running along our basement ceiling. She told me she thought the sound of running water was coming from the pipe she was pointing at. I told my wife that I thought the pipe she was pointing at was a gas pipe. And then I told her that I thought the sound of running water was coming from outside where it had been — follow me here — raining for nearly 24 hours. My wife told me I was wrong. I told my wife she was crazy. She told me to drop dead. 
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