Thu, Nov 26 2009
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Published October 23, 2009 12:00 pm - I had been married for about five years before I found out what a baker’s rack was. And I had been married for about seven years before I found out what a hall tree was. Mike Pound: Can't see the hall for the tree I had been married for about five years before I found out what a baker’s rack was. And I had been married for about seven years before I found out what a hall tree was. I found out what both a hall tree and a baker’s rack were when my wife insisted that we needed one of each. I was single for a long time (No, really?), so I didn’t need to know what a hall tree or a baker’s rack were. Mainly, when I was single, I needed to know where I should keep my beer and cheese doodles. Answers: The beer should go in the refrigerator and the cheese doodles on the couch. At one point during my days as a single person, it was hard to tell where the cheese doodles ended and where the couch began. But after I got married, things changed. I discovered that I shouldn’t leave cheese doodles on the couch. I discovered that it was possible to put things besides beer in the refrigerator. I discovered that an armoire is something you put clothes in and not, as I thought, a piece of French lingerie. I was confused when my wife said we needed to buy a baker’s rack. “We’re not bakers,” is what I said. “You don’t have to be a baker to have a baker’s rack,” my wife said. “Then why don’t they just call it a rack?” I said. “You’re a moron,” she said. My wife says that a lot. Later, when we went to buy the baker’s rack, I discovered why folks call it a baker’s rack: So they can charge more money for it. When I saw the baker’s rack my wife wanted to buy, I noticed that it looked just a bit used. My wife informed me that the rack was supposed to look old. “It’s an antique,” she said. “So basically we’re paying extra for a used baker’s rack that we don’t need because we’re not bakers?” I asked. “Yes,” my wife said. “Well, as long as it makes sense,” I said. 
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